The Thanksgiving Debacle
by damageddementia
Summary: Three Southerners, three Canadians, one Thanksgiving... isn't this the part when you insert the punchline? ***Permanent Hiatus***
1. The 'Birthday' Surprise

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera. **

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers. (How many times have I posted this disclaimer now????)**

**So, this is kind of for Thanksgiving, but also ties in with Christian's birthday. It all takes place at Matt's house. There is going to be slash, but I don't have everything 100% ironed out yet. So, read, and enjoy!**

**Chapter One: The 'Birthday' Surprise**

"Hey, Jeff," Matt said, looking away from the potato he was peeling, "So, who told you they were coming for tomorrow?"

"Oh, you know," Jeff said, not looking away from his potato, "Chris said he was coming, Adam's flying over tomorrow, Randy's going to the McMahon-Helmsley Thanksgiving dinner..."

Matt chuckled. "He'll never be the same again."

"That's for sure. I haven't heard back from Jay yet, and, oh, well... AJ's definitely coming. His flight lands at four."

"Early again," Matt said, rolling his eyes.

"He's trying to be nice," Jeff said, "He wants to be helpful. Is that so bad?"

_Yes_. "No, I guess," Matt said. Jeff shook his head; his brother got along with everyone- except AJ. Jeff didn't know what was really going on with them, but sometimes they would get into arguments or be out to one up each other during Thanksgiving. One time, they made a game of Spades into a sudden death match. Another year, they got into a beer drinking contest that ended up with the both of them passing out in Matt's backyard. They had to carry the idiots inside, and that was no fun.

Jeff looked at Matt, who's potato's skin was gone, but he was still peeling. "Don't kill the potato!" Jeff shouted, snatching the peeler.

Matt blushed. "Sorry," he said, taking it back. Thinking about Allen Jones always made Matt like this. Jeff couldn't understand how two such friendly guys just couldn't get along.

"So, will you behave this time?" Jeff asked, staring at his brother.

"I'm very well behaved," Matt retorted. Jeff made a disbelieveing sound, and Matt said, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You two started a food fight during dessert last year!"

"Don't worry about it," Matt said, relishing the memory of AJ's face covered in chocolate pie, crust stuck in his hair, "I'm baking them this year, remember? I won't waste them on him."

"I mean it, Matt. Behave." Matt nodded, thinking that he'd behave... only if AJ behaved.

****************

The doorbell rang, and Jeff looked at his brother. "Go get that."

"He's your friend. You go get that." Jeff glared at him, and Matt sighed. Jeff just didn't understand; he didn't like AJ. Never had, never will. The little brat just got on his nerves so much...

Matt saw he wasn't going to win this one, so he stood up and walked to the door. He opened it, ready to face AJ, but he was surprised to see Jason Reso there, grinning wildly. "We weren't sure you were coming," Matt said, "You didn't answer our calls-"

"You thought you could keep it a secret," Jay laughed, slamming his jacket into Matt's surprised hands, "Well, you almost got me, but I have your number."

Matt stared at Jay as he came inside. "Um... what the hell are you talking about?"

Jay slapped Matt's back. "Drop the act, bud. I know."

"Know what?"

"About my birthday dinner, of course!" He hugged Matt close, the grin still on his face. "This is going to be great!"

"Jay," Matt said, "Your birthday's next week. This is Thanksgiving dinner we're preparing."

"Matt, I'm serious. The jig is up. I mean, all my best friends in one place? The Hardys, Adam, Chris, and AJ? Come on now, I'm not an idiot."

_Yes you are. This IS Thanksgiving dinner. _"I guess we could use some help," Matt said, shrugging.

"What's taking so long? I swear, Matt, if you locked him outside again..." Jeff walked into the living room and set his eyes on Jay. "Oh, hey man. I wasn't even sure you were coming..."

Jay just smiled at him. "Come on, Jeffers. Give it up. Thanks for the effort, but you don't have to pretend anymore."

"Pretend what?" Jeff mouthed, going over to Matt and Jay. Jay wrapped his arm around Jeff too and said, "You know, it means a lot to me that you two would go through all this trouble for me. I love you both." He kissed Matt's cheek, then Jeff's, and then said, "What do we have to drink?"

"There's some beer in the fridge..." Jeff said, pointing to the kitchen, "Soda too, if that's what you're feeling."

"Great!" Jay said. He squeezed them again, saying, "This means a lot to me, thanks!"

"You're... welcome?" Jeff said, still confused. As Jay went into the kitchen, Jeff turned to Matt. "What the hell was that?"

"He's here for his 'birthday dinner'," Matt said, putting air quotes around birthday dinner.

"But his birthday's next week."

"I know."

"But..." Jeff started, but Matt just patted his shoulder.

"Play along. This just means one less gift we have to give this year."

"True," Jeff said, nodding. "Come on, let's get a drink."

**************

AJ arrived a half an hour later, bearing two bottles of wine. Jeff opened the door and threw his arms around his friend. "AJ!" he shouted, "How've you been?"

"Good, good," AJ said, "And you? How's retirement handling you?"

"Ugh, I'm bored," Jeff sighed, "Maybe we could switch places! I'll be TNA world champion, and you could babysit Lucas and be bored!"

AJ laughed. "I'll pass." Jay and Matt walked out of the kitchen, and Jay ran forward, going to hug his old friend. Jeff quickly got the wine out of the way as Jay's arms wrapped around AJ.

"Allen Jones, you goon! It's great to see you again!"

"Likewise, Reso." He looked up and then smirked at Matt. "And if it isn't old grumpy!" Matt's fists clenched, and AJ snickered, "Relax, Matt. I'm just kidding. It's great to see you. How have you been?"

"Peachy," Matt said sarcastically. Jeff glowered, so Matt made his tone friendlier. "And you?"

"Couldn't be better." AJ wrapped his arms around Jeff, pulling him and Jay close. "I'm with my closest friends, I'm on the top of my game, and we're about to make delicious Thanksgiving-"

Jay pinched him, making AJ jump. Matt couldn't help but smirk now. "Drop the ruse, AJ. I know."

"Know what?" AJ asked, confused.

"Play along," Jeff whispered.

"Ah," AJ said, "Well, sorry I thought I could fool you."

"It's okay! I think it was nice you guys tried to surprise me," Jay walked back into the kitchen, ready to go back to gutting the turkey. Both Hardys hated the job, but Jay seemed to be glad for it, so they let him have it. Matt, AJ, and Jeff joined him in the kitchen. As Jeff put the bottles of wine away, AJ pinched Matt's side. Matt glared at him, but AJ just smiled.

"You don't like it when it's done to you, do ya?" AJ asked smugly.

Matt responded by pinching AJ back. AJ jumped again, and Matt walked over to the stuffing he was making. AJ watched Matt, crossing his arms. He knew he promised Jeff that he'd behave, but hey, Matt started it.

"So," Jay said, looking around, "Who wants to hear a holiday story?" Everyone wanted to hear it, and maybe the story would make the work go faster. "Alright, so, we just finished Christmas shopping last year when Adam locked the keys in our rental. And the back window was like, halfway down, so I offered to squeeze in."

"Like you'd fit," Jeff scoffed.

"Are you trying to say I'm fat?"

"Well, you're not exactly lean," Jeff said. He lifted Jay's shirt and said, "Where have your hipbones gone?"

Jay slapped Jeff's hands away. "You want to talk about missing hipbones, talk to Matty."

"Hey!" Matt shouted, "Don't pull me into this!"

AJ shrugged. "Well, it's not his fault your pauch hangs over those tights you wear."

Matt glared at him, and Jay said, "I was in the middle of a story! We can talk about Matt's little friend later."

"Jay!"

"Matt, get over it! You have a pauch, I have one too, and we can compare with Chris and Adam when they get here. Your brother and AJ are the weird ones." Jay lifted his shirt and rubbed his belly, showing it to everybody. "Love the belly, love the belly!"

They laughed, and Jeff said, "So... you were about to squeeze through the window?"

"Right. Now, Adam decides that it would be better if _he _did it. So, he tries to squeeze in, and his ass gets stuck, mooning everyone in sight!"

"That must've been a sight to behold," Jeff said, raising his beer in mock toast.

"Ew, Jeff, Adam is not someone I want to think about like that." Jay shivered, and he said, "He couldn't lower the window because the car was off, and I couldn't pull him out without him crying like a little bitch. We had to butter him up- literally!- to get him unstuck. It took two sticks of butter to slick Addy up enough!"

That got a bunch of giggles, and Jay said, "I never thought I'd have to lube up Adam, but, you know, life's crazy like that."

"I'd love to lube up Addy," Jeff said, winking.

"Okay, Jeff, stop being gross!" Jay said, holding up the turkey guts.

"No," Jeff said, holding up his hands, "Next thing we know, it'll be a repeat of last year." He glared at Matt and AJ, and Jay noticed quickly.

"What happened last year?" Jay asked, grinning.

"Ask AJ," Matt said, turning back to his job.

"Matt started it," AJ spat, also going back to his job.

"Okay, color me interested," Jay said, "What the hell happened?"

"AJ said something, and then Matt threw his pie in AJ's face. Then, next thing I know, I'm under the table, cowering, while the pies _I baked _were thrown around. I don't even know why Adam and Chris got involved!"

"Heck, I would've joined," Jay said, "Sounds like fun."

"I baked those goddamn pies!" Jeff shouted, "I did NOT make them so AJ could shove one down my brother's pants!"

Jay glanced at AJ. "Really?"

"You wouldn't understand unless you saw the chocolate staining his pants," AJ answered.

"Although, I bet the sight of AJ's crusty, chocolate covered face would've killed you," Matt replied.

"Okay, stop!" Jeff crossed his arms, looking at AJ, who was preparing a rebuttal. "Why can't you two get along?"

"He started it!" Matt and AJ both shouted.

"Children," Jay snickered. Matt and AJ went back to their jobs, and Jay turned to Jeff. "Why don't they like each other?"

Jeff shrugged. "They just never had. I don't know why."

"Should make for an interesting birthday dinner."

"Sure, Jay," Jeff snickered, still unable to believe Jay thought this was a birthday dinner, "Sure."

**Reviews Deeply Appreciated**


	2. Highway to Hell

****

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.

I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers. (How many times have I posted this disclaimer now????)

Thanks for the reviews, and a few things are going to happen before everyone gets to Matt's house. Adam won't come up for a while, since he's coming tomorrow. I consider this a chance to showcase my massive craziness. Enjoy!

Chapter Two: Highway to Hell

Chris Irvine looked away from the road to the map. He couldn't see the right road anywhere on it. He sighed; probably took a wrong left or something.

Chris was only in Atlanta with his pal Rich, so he decided to drive up to the Hardy's house. It was an excellent idea until it became dark and Chris became the only person on an abandoned stretch of highway.

__

Isn't this where that one movie took place? The one about the creepy flying dude who eats people for body parts? What if he comes after me? Oh God, I should've asked Adam to drive with me...

Chris pulled out his phone, the rules of the road meaningless on the empty stretch, and dialed Jeff. After three rings, the phone picked up. "Hello?" Chris heard some loud, argumentative voices, and Jeff said, "Ignore them." Chris nodded; he knew how AJ and Matt could get. One of the reasons he loved Hardy Thanksgiving.

"So, I'm in the middle of nowhere, and I don't know how to get to your house," Chris said.

"Well, what did the last sign you saw say?"

"Georgetown, 30 miles," Chris answered, "That was a while ago."

"How long would you say a while was?"

"I dunno... how long does it take to digest a sandwich? I gotta lay one off."

"Um, ew, Chris. Well, go to the next rest stop, and ask how to get on the main road. Things should be simple from there."

"Okay. One question... why are Matt and AJ arguing?"

"We're playing scrabble. Matt says that 'inable' is not a word, AJ insists it is, and Jay has yet to come back with a dictionary."

"Jay's there?"

"Yeah, and... right. Bring a present. He thinks this is his birthday dinner."

"What?" Chris asked, confused, "But his birthday''s next week..."

"We know. But Jay won't listen to reason, so play along. See you soon!" Jeff hung up, and Chris looked at the phone, confused. _This is the part when the hot rockstar dies alone on the road, isn't it? _Chris took a deep breath and put in his mix CD for strength. Dio's _Holy Diver_ filled the car. He nodded his head to the beat, letting the song take over until he found a rest stop.

Soon enough, he found a rest stop- but it was dank and dirty, and he definitely didn't want to go in there. But his need to go to the bathroom overrode his sense of cleanliness, so he parked the car and went inside.

The owner was a big biker guy, who kind of reminded Chris of Mike Knox, if he wore leather. Chris put on a fake smile and said, "Um... can I use your bathroom?"

The man wordlessly pointed to a door in the back, and Chris sort of waddled back there, trying to hold it in. He opened the door and his jaw fell in disgust as he surveyed the thing that sort of looked like a toliet. Next to it was what was unquestionably a gloryhole, and Chris puked a little in his mouth. There was a sink, but Chris knew he had hand sanitizer in the car, so he wasn't going to try that haunting excuse for a sink.

Chris pulled down his pants and crouched over the toliet, afraid to sit down. Oh God, he should've flew. This was horrible. He didn't even want to try to make a seat cover with toliet paper- the germs would just seep through and infect him.

After he was done, he went to the front. He smiled at the guy and said, "So, what's the price of gas?" The man pointed behind Chris, who turned around and saw that it was 3.10 a gallon. Chris turned back to him, wondering why he wouldn't talk. "Um, do you know the way to the main road?" Chris asked. The man just stared at him, and Chris took that to mean 'Pay for your gas and leave'.

Chris did just that, feeling scared out of his mind. As he filled the tank, he heard a truck pull in. He turned and saw a scrawny old trucker come out, a big smile on his face. "We don't usually see much people around this time," he shouted out jovially.

Chris awkwardly returned the smile, which made him laugh. "Oh, you met Effie. Don't worry about him. Great guy, he just can't say his own name!"

Chris laughed a little. "He's mute?"

"No, he's dumb!" They laughed again, and the man held out his hand. "I'm Hector. You?"

"Chris," he said, shaking his hand, "So, do you know how to get back onto the main road?"

"Yep, but I'm not telling you."

Chris stopped smiling. "Why not?"

"Because Effie needs you. Effie needs other's brains so he can be smart. I can't ever let you leave..." he bursted out laughing, "Relax, Chrissy boy, I'm just ribbing ya!" Chris laughed a little, but was still unnerved by Hector. "Let me fill my tank and you can follow me out, okay?"

"Okay." Chris stared at him as he left, and shook with fear. This was going to be a long night.

******************

"I'm telling you, inable is a word! As in, Jeff's popularity inabled Matt to have a career," AJ said.

"That's spelled enable, Jonesey. E-N-A-B-L-E. Such as, sucking Kurt Angle off enabled AJ to win his title."

Jeff squeezed the bridge of his nose, wishing the arguing would stop. AJ and Matt were going back and forth, yelling about something as inane as a word.

"AHA!" Jay screamed, coming in with a dictionary, pointing at a word, "Shame on you, AJ! Inable is NOT a word!"

AJ grumbled and took the i and the n tiles off the board when, suddenly, Jay slapped him with the dictionary. "OW! What the hell was that for?"

"Miriam asked me to hit you for messing up the English language," he said. Then, he hit Jeff with the dictionary. "And that was for meusexy from earlier!"

"Me-u-sexy is a word!" Jeff shouted, rubbing his sore head.

"Not according to Miriam!" Jay shouted. He sat down, rubbing the massive dictionary. "Anyone else want to question Miriam and put down a fake word?"

Matt shook his head, eyeing his dictionary, thinking about how he would not get hit by his own book. AJ and Jeff rubbed their heads and glared at Jay, thinking about possibly killing him. They couldn't help but wonder when Scrabble became such a dangerous game.

***************

Hector came out of the rest stop, grinning as he walked over to Chris. "Hey there Chrissy boy. Just get in your car and follow me, okay? We'll be on the main road in twenty minutes."

Chris did as he was told, eyeing the antenna on the truck. That meant Hector could talk to anyone and tell them about the pretty blond rockstar following him. Or maybe he was going to lead him to that creepy thing with the wings from that one movie. Chris suddenly wished he looked a little more masculine; he shouldn't have shaved that beard.

Chris followed him, reaching to play his CD again, when something caught his eye. He looked in the rearview mirror and his eyes widened: a new truck was now behind him. "Holy shit! Where the hell did that come from?" Chris yelled. He saw that truck also had an antenna, and he knew: he fell into a trap.

He immediately pressed the lock button, feeling sweat come down his forehead. He tried to see the driver, but he couldn't. Did this happen in that one movie with the winged creature? He didn't know, but he was afraid to find out.

He picked up his phone and sent a text to Jeff: About to die. Pray for me. Truckers going to kill me. He then put down his phone and began to breathe steadily. He had to do something if he expected to survive.

****

Chris thinks he's going to die, Jay might actually kill Jeff, AJ, and Matt with the dictionary if they don't play right... will anyone survive the night?

Reviews Deeply Appreciated


	3. Are You There God?

****

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.

I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers. (How many times have I posted this disclaimer now????)

Thanks for the reviews. The movie Chris continuously references is 'Jeepers Creepers'. It is kind of creepy, although the ending was a let down. Next chapter Adam comes in.

Chapter Three: Are You There God?

Jeff's phone rang during the scrabble game. Jay was putting down drawn while Jeff looked at the message, laughing. "What is it?" Jay asked, a little lost, "This is a word."

"No, it's Chris... he's an idiot. I think he thinks truckers are going to kill him." Jeff shook his head in disbelief. "I won't send anything back, just let him sweat it a little."

"You don't feel bad for him?" AJ inserted, "I mean, he _is _your friend, and he's driving alone in the night. And it's not like truckers have never proved to be homicidal."

"No, Chris is overreacting," Jay said, grinning, "That's our Chris. Remember the time he thought we were being followed by a homicidal motorcyclist?"

"I remember," Matt chuckled, "The poor guy just wanted to return Adam's ID. Chris stole Jim Duggan's two by four and was about ready to beat him to pieces. But if I remember correctly, you were pretty scared yourself, Jay."

"Yeah, well, he had no right to be so damned scary. Did you see the beard? Biker was sporting the Albus Dumbledore. That's a sign of no good."

"Um, AJ wasn't there, so AJ would rather we not reminisce," AJ interjected, hand raised.

"Poor AJ," Jay rubbed the dictionary, and they half expected him to start talking about his precious, "Hey, maybe you should come the WWE!"

"No thanks, I like being in TNA," AJ replied, "You should come back to TNA. We could make it a party!" He smiled at Matt. "You could come too. I'm sure jobbing to me would be a lot sweeter than jobbing to Punk and Batista."

"...bite me, AJ." Matt rolled his eyes before putting down gnome off of Jay's n in drawn. Jay looked at the word, then at Matt.

"What word is that?" he asked.

"Gnome," Matt said, "You know, like garden gnomes?"

"I'm sorry Matt, I've never heard of guhnomes," Jay said, pronouncing the g. He lifted the dictionary, getting ready to hit him. Although Jeff would never admit it, he was actually happy Matt was getting threatened; if he got hurt, everyone else should also get hurt. And that dictionary _hurt_. AJ had no such self control, and he was watching, amused.

Matt put his hands up in defense and shouted, "Wait! The G is silent! The g is silent!"

Jay glared at Matt, but then he opened the dictionary and looked up gnome. He found it and nodded. "Okay, you're lucky. But I just think that silent motherfucker should get out the word."

"Bring the issue up with Miriam," Matt grumbled.

"Don't blame Miriam. Miriam's a good lady." Jay rubbed the dictionary again.

"You're insane," Jeff said.

"And proud of it. Whose next?" AJ put down his, well, letter. He just put an S at the end of gnome.

"That's it?" Jeff asked.

"Yup. Gnomes. As in many of them."

"That's stupid. Put down an actual word, Jones!"

"I don't think there's anything in the rule book against me doing that. Am I wrong, Jay?"

"Don't ask me," Jay patted Miriam. "I just make sure the words are actually words. And yes, gnomes is a word."

"So there. Jeff, go," AJ pointed to the board.

"You're a cheater," Jeff grumbled. He, too, was planning on putting an S at the end of Matt's gnome.

* * *

Chris gripped the steering wheel tightly, praying that the main road would come up soon. The truck that suddenly appeared behind him was driving closer and closer, and Chris couldn't push his own accelerator and get further away, because Hector was driving incredibly slowly. Soon, the truck was so close that it was the only thing Chris could see in his rear view mirror.

_Are you there, God? It's me, Chris Jericho. I know we talk daily, but it's usually me saying the same prayer you probably hear from millions of other people. I'm kind of freaking out right now. I saw that one movie with the freaky guy with the wings who eats the body parts of stranded motorists. And, well, I have nice vocal cords, and I've been told my eyes are cool too. So, um, can you help me out? The movie didn't end happily, but I hear there's a sequel, so maybe the monster dies there, right? So, make this the sequel, and not the first one, and I can live. Please. _

The truck moved closer and closer until it seemed that Chris' back bumper and the truck's front melded. Chris cried out and honked his horn, hoping the guy would back off. The truck slowed down, giving Chris a second to breathe, before driving back up and closing the space between their cars.

Chris started slapping the car horn repeatedly, frantically, hoping to get the trucker to back off. But the trucker completely violated Chris' personal bubble still, keeping him boxed in. Sometimes, he'd slow down, but he'd drive back up seconds later. Chris was out of his mind with fear, and his hand hurt from all the times he hit the horn.

When the main road was finally visible, the trucker slowed down again, and Chris took his chance. He hit the accelerator and drove into the other lane before passing Hector and driving as fast as he could. He didn't slow back down to the speed limit until both trucks were clear out of sight. Chris started yelling in triumph, happy he got away. No one was going to eat Chris Jericho's eyes tonight.

Hector picked up his CB radio transmitter and pressed the button. "This is Red Rover. Big Thumb, how long did it take for blondie to disappear?"

"67 seconds, Red Rover."

"Well, I believe that there's a new record." Hector chuckled, "I love scaring idiots who have no right to be on the road."

"Copy that, Red Rover."

****************

Chris finally made it to Cameron about an hour later. Jeff opened the door and squealed when he saw Chris, running and jumping on him, wrapping his arms around Chris' neck and legs around Chris' midsection. "Chrissy's not dead!" he shouted.

"Well, that's too bad." Jay entered the room, smiling teasingly, still carrying the dictionary. AJ followed and waved at him, and Matt said hello, grinning.

"Forget you, Reso. And get off me!" Chris pushed Jeff off. "That's annoying."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is, and I'll prove it." Chris then ran over to Matt and did the same thing Jeff did to him. Matt made a noise and stumbled, making everyone else laugh.

"Get off me, fatso!" Matt said, trying not to fall under Chris' weight.

"Hey, I'm not fat, you assfaced son of a bitch!" Chris said, hanging on as tightly as possible. Matt tried to push him off and keep standing, but Chris kept a firm hold, squeezing Matt's arms to his sides.

"Don't take it personally," AJ said, "Matt's muscles weren't ready for some real weight."

"You know, Jonesey, one more crack..." Matt tried to look menacing, but it was hard since he was cracking under Chris' weight and Chris was wrapped around him like a monkey. "Someone get Chris off of me!"

"Sounds like a job for Miriam!" CRACK! Jay swiftly swung the dictionary, catching Chris on the head. Chris fell off of Matt onto his butt, head filling with pain.

"Ow! Why did you do that?" Chris asked, rubbing his head and pouting.

Jay just rubbed the dictionary and said, "Ooh, where's my present?"

"In the car, but you don't deserve it." Chris stood up and walked to the kitchen. He grabbed Matt's arm and dragged him with him, mumbling something about needing beer after his 'horrible ordeals'. Jeff giggled as Jay went after them, yelling about wanting his present.

"Hey Jeff?" Jeff looked at AJ, who was staring after them.

"What?"

"Chris and Matt seemed pretty close. Are they..."

"What? Together?" Jeff shrugged. "I don't know. We're all so close, I'm sure we've all fooled around with each other once or twice in the past. They could've hooked up on the road. But maybe you should ask Chris or Matt." AJ nodded, and Jeff studied his friend. "Why so interested?"

AJ chuckled. "Well, Jeff, I'd like to know if I'm going to have to sit through them acting gushy all Thanksgiving."

"Even if they were together, Matt's not the type to get gushy." Jeff grabbed AJ's arm and started pulling him to the kitchen. "For a second there I thought you were jealous or something. I mean, if you wanted Chris, you could just ask. After four years, I think we can call you two friends."

"Me and Chris..." AJ shook his head. "I don't think I can see that happening."

"Why not? You were with Jay, weren't you?"

"Once upon a time, yes," AJ laughed.

"Well they're not that different. Chris is just louder, smarter, and a little less crazy. But definitely more sanctimonious." Jeff nudged him. "Maybe it could work."

AJ watched as Matt, Jay, and Chris each opened a beer. Jeff sounded like he wanted to set him and Chris up or something, and when Jeff got his mind set on something, he usually did it. He groaned inside- he had a feeling Jeff would be pushing them together all Thanksgiving, and even though he liked Chris, he didn't like him like that.

As Jay downed the beer, Chris leaned closer to Matt and whispered, "Tonight, we're taking that dictionary." Matt nodded; he hadn't been hit yet, but he had a feeling Jay would find a reason to. And Matt wouldn't let him, not in his own house.

****

Matt and Chris are plotting against Miriam, Jay's being a total tyrant, Jeff wants to set up AJ and Chris... how will Adam's presence shake things up?

Reviews Deeply Appreciated


	4. Plots and Presents

****

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.

I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.

Thanks for the reviews, and, well, here we go.

Chapter Four: Plots and Presents

It was around one when people started turning in for the night. Chris and Matt went up first, pretending to go to sleep. Jeff caught AJ watching them again, and made a note to eventually ask Matt what his relationship with Chris was.

When it was three, Matt peeked out of his room, trying to see if anyone was awake. The house was practically pitch black, all the lights off, so Matt was sure everyone was asleep. "Come on," he whispered. As Matt tried to leave, Chris grabbed him by the arm, pulling him back in.

"Wait," he said, "Listen... there's something I need to talk to you about."

"Sure," Matt said, "What's up?"

"Remember how I told you I was dating again?" Matt nodded. "Well, we recently broke up. It wasn't messy, but I don't think I'm ready for another relationship yet. And, well, I think Jeff wants to set me up with AJ."

"Jones?"

"Do we know another AJ?" Chris asked, "Anyway, I really don't want to deal with that. Could you pretend that we're together this weekend? It would mean a lot to me..."

Matt chuckled. "I'll do it, Chris. Heck, if it bugs the 'phenomenal' one," Matt put phenomenal in air quotes, "I'm in."

"You rock." Chris grinned, "And... thanks. Thanks for not making a big deal, and asking about me and... you know."

Matt patted his shoulder in a supportive manner. "If you wanted to tell me about it, you would have told. Now, let's go get my dictionary." Chris and Matt quietly left the room, slowly tip toeing to the guest room Matt gave to Jay. Jay was in deep sleep, holding the dictionary close, like a teddy bear, mumbling 'not a word' every now and then. Matt suppressed a giggle as Chris grabbed the top of the dictionary.

Matt gently grabbed Jay's arm and looked at Chris. "One..." he mouthed, "Two... Three." Matt lifted the arm while Chris tugged out the dictionary. Suddenly, Jay grabbed Chris' arm, causing the older man to yelp. Matt's eyes widened, thinking Jay was awake, but the Canadian was still in deep slumber. It was just a reflex.

"Help me," Chris mouthed.

"Every man for himself."

"Matthew Moore Hardy, if you leave me, I swear..."

Matt swallowed a snicker before going to help Chris. One hand carefully peeled Jay's fingers off of Chris' arm while the other pulled Chris away from the grasp. After a few tugs, he was able to get Chris out, and he stumbled. It was a close call, but they had the dictionary.

They swiftly left Jay's room and ran to Matt's own room, giggling and panting. "So... now we bury this thing?" Chris asked.

"I still need that later, assclown."

"Miriam says assclown's not a word, idiot!" Chris said, mimicking Jay, playfully tapping Matt with the dictionary.

"Just shut up and give it to me!" Matt laughed.

* * *

Adam Copeland got off the plane from Florida, glad to be on solid ground again. He finally got to stretch as he walked to baggage claim; he hated flights because they were so cramped. As soon as he got his bag, he checked his messages, seeing he had a missed call from Randy and a text from Jeff.

He called Randy first, who answered promptly. "Save me," he hissed, sounding desperate.

"Called the wrong person. Chris is the savior around here, not me." Adam laughed at his own joke, but Randy obviously didn't find it amusing. "So, what's the matter?"

"I think Hunter and Stephanie are grooming their children to molest me."

"What?" Adam fought hard to hide his amusement, but Randy could hear it.

"I'm being serious!" Randy whined, "Yesterday, their girls wanted to play house, and I was like, sure. Next thing I know, they want ME to be the mommy! Literally, they tied an apron around me and the older one, who decided to be daddy, was definitely modeling her father. I think Hunter told them about what we used to do."

"Randy, Hunter did not tell his kids about how he used to have his way with you," Adam said, trying to be rational.

"Then why the hell do they think it's okay to randomly throw their arms around me?"

"They're children. They hug you. That's normal. Now, don't call me back unless the mini McMahon-Helmsleys start spanking you or something."

"Adam wait," Randy pleaded, "I can't do anything because Vince is here, and he's giving me the evil eye. You know, the one that says 'hurt my granddaughters in any way and I'll bury you'. And Shane _knows _my pain, I can tell, and he's just sitting there, smugly watching, daring me to attempt escape. And Hunter and Stephanie are just grinning, happy their little hell spawns are following in their footsteps of Orton torture. Please, come save me."

"Sorry, you should've known what would happen," Adam said, "So, I have to get to Matt's, so..."

"Adam, don't hang up, please!"

"...see you around!" Adam cheerily hung up the phone and then he read the text from Jeff. _Coming to pick you up soon. We'll have to pick up birthday gifts for Jay, so I hope you got money. Love!! _His brow furrowed, reading the the text, trying to understand why the hell he had to buy a birthday gift for Jay when it was a week away. But he decided that it might be best to do it now; he was probably going to forget to buy him a gift anyway and end up purchasing a cheesy shirt from the hotel gift store, like he did last year.

Adam waited about fifteen minutes for Jeff to show up. When he finally did, Adam put his hands up and said, "If you jump on me, I swear, on all I love, I will throw you down."

Jeff crossed his arms, in faux anger, and said, "Who said I was going to do that?"

"I know you." Adam opened his arms and hugged Jeff. Jeff immediately hugged him back, the facade dropping. They walked to the car and Adam threw his bag in the back before Jeff began driving. "So... Jay's getting gifts early? All I got was a e-card that said IOU."

Jeff grinned. "Play your cards right, that IOU could turn into something awesome."

Adam put a hand on Jeff's knee and squeezed. "Is that an offer?"

Jeff swatted Adam's hand away. "No." Adam pouted, and Jeff laughed- Adam was so cute when he got childlike.

"So, explain Jay's luck," Adam said, "Why should he get early gifts?"

"He thinks Thanksgiving dinner's a birthday dinner," Jeff answered. Adam stared at Jeff for a while, seeing if he was serious, and then he just shrugged.

"Makes a lot more sense than three Canadians celebrating Thanksgiving."

"You don't have to come, you know."

"And miss out on the free food? Psh. I'm perfectly content to let you silly Americans cook me a fabulous meal, and so are Chris and Jay." Jeff hit him, and they both burst into peals of laughter. After a while of driving, Adam eventually found a small novelty store. Jeff pulled over and they went inside, looking for gifts for Jay.

"What about this?" Jeff asked, lifting a skeleton head. He moved the mouth like it was talking, and Adam shook his head. "Nah, he'll treat it like the holy grail for a day, and then he'll forget about it. What about this?"

Adam held up a pink, fluffy cabaret scarf. Jeff snickered, quickly putting that idea down. They went through a puzzle box, which Adam spent ten minutes trying to solve, a book that was actually a place to hide liquor bottles, which Jeff deemed his, and a pair of Willy Wonka shades, which both men considered to be a travesty and looked over.

Finally, the sales clerk, a young, scrawny man with dark hair and pale skin, walked over to them. "Can I help you?" he asked, "We're closing early today, so..." Jeff chuckled; it wasn't like they were closing at nine. Adam saw that he was wearing a KISS shirt and, deciding he had superior taste, said, "Actually, we're trying to buy a gift for our friend's birthday. Any suggestions?"

"Well, what kind of person is he... is it a he?" he asked. Adam nodded and he said, "Is he single?" Adam nodded again, and the clerk beamed. "Then I have the perfect gift." He walked down the aisle until he got to the back, and he came back with a big black box, about the size of a boot box. On the cover was one word- Debauchery. "Trust me, after your friend plays this, he'll be in your debt forever. Though he might want to make sure the male/female ratio is in favor of the fairer sex; it'll make the game legions better."

Adam took the game and he and Jeff studied it, but all it said was Debauchery. There were no instructions or anything, nothing to tell them what kind of game it was. "What is it?" Jeff asked.

"It's an amazing game, dude... your friend will have a great time."

"Yeah, you said that, but you didn't say what it was." Adam shot Jeff a look, and he said, "What? If I'm going to spend money on it, I want to know what it is."

"I'm the one spending money on it!"

"That's not the point!"

"Look, man, if you open the box and the game's a dud, so long as none of the pieces are damaged, you could return it," the clerk said, "But trust me- this is the same price as a Scene It, but it's at least ten times better."

"I'll take it," Adam said.

"Cool! Let me go ring that up..." He studied Adam's face, and then he said, "Aren't you that guy from-"

Adam nodded, smiling. "Yeah, you caught me."

"Awesome! Puddle of Mudd's my sister's favorite band. I can't wait to tell her I met you!" He went to ring up the game, and Jeff looked him over. "You do kind of look like that guy..."

"Shut up."

******************

AJ woke up and went downstairs, hearing laughter in the kitchen. He saw Matt and Chris talking and eating bowls of cereal, and he just grinned. "Morning, Chris!" Chris looked up and waved shortly, hoping the kid wasn't too high on the idea of dating Chris Jericho. "Morning, grumpy!"

"Bite me, AJ," Matt said, not looking up from his cereal.

"Still as sour as ever, I see. Ooh, cornflakes!" AJ grabbed a bowl and sat at the table, next to Chris. Chris noticed this and pushed his knee into Matt's, telling him to help him silently.

As AJ poured himself a bowl, Matt said, "So, Styles, sleep well?"

Surprised to hear Matt talk so cordially, he looked up. "You did something, didn't you?"

"Now, who said that?" Matt, making himself as obvious as possible without looking suspicious, put a hand on Chris' knee. He squeezed lightly before smiling at Chris. "I'm just trying to make conversation."

"Of course you are. And since I'm a complete retard, I totally believe you." AJ rolled his eyes and looked at Chris. "What did he do?"

Chris shrugged. "I don't know. But if you piss blue, don't be surprised."

AJ gulped, looking down at his privates like they were about to fall off. Matt held it in as long as he could, but then he heard a soft snicker from Chris, and he lost it. They both began cackling, and AJ blushed. "That's not funny."

Chris and Matt exchanged a glance before saying, "Yes, yes it is."

They heard the door open, and then a yell. "I got us a present!"

Adam jumped into the kitchen, hands out like a cartoon. "What's going on in Hicktown?" Jeff pushed Adam, shaking his head in phony disappointment. Matt, Chris, and AJ all waved to him, all of them not wanting to leave the cereal lest it get soggy. Adam just sat down, putting his hand in the Corn Flakes box and pulling out a handful, eating them dry.

"You could've gotten a bowl, you know," Matt said.

"I don't want a meal, Matthew, I want a snack." Adam rubbed his head patronizingly, and Matt could hear everyone chortling.

"Hey, could you imagine Matty with doggy ears?" Jeff asked. Matt couldn't believe his own blood would turn on him like that, but then Chris joined in.

"And a nice black tail to match. It'd be adorable!" Chris rubbed Matt's butt, and Matt moved away.

"Stop ganging up on me!" Matt shouted.

"Don't forget the collar," AJ said, winking at Matt and looking way too superior for Matt's tastes.

"Oh, shut up," Matt said.

"Ah, did we get the poor puppy all riled up?" AJ asked. Matt didn't even know how to attempt to regain his dignity; all four men were against him, talking about how Matt would look as a dog. Just as Matt thought the morning was completely ruined, a loud scream filled the house.

"MIRIAM!"

**...and all hell broke loose.**

**Reviews Deeply Appreciated**


	5. Thursday Night Smackdown

****

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.

I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.

Thanks for the reviews, and, well, here we go.

Chapter Five: Thursday Night Smackdown

Jay was downstairs in a minute, looking crazed as he walked over, wearing only a pair of pajama pants. "Which one of you lowlife sons of bitches kidnapped Miriam?" He said, glaring at everyone at the table.

"Whose Miriam?" Adam asked.

"Shut up," Jay snapped, "I want to know where Miriam is and I want to know now! Which one of you illiterate, ignorant bastards can show me where Miriam is."

"Jay, it's just a dictionary..." AJ started, but then Jay nearly chewed his head off screaming, "SHE WAS NOT JUST A DICTIONARY! SHE WAS A GOOD WOMAN WHO SLAPPED YOU SORRY IDIOTS AND TAUGHT ME WORDS TO MAKE ME SOUND LEARNED! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW LEARNED WAS A WORD UNTIL MIRIAM CAME INTO MY LIFE!"

"Jay, calm down..."

"I'M CALM! NOW WHERE THE FUCK IS MIRIAM?"

Matt stood up and put a hand on Jay's shoulder. "Jay, in your sleep... well, you destroyed Miriam. I tried to save her, but... She was shreds by the time I got there. I had to throw her a- I mean, give her a proper burial. I'm sorry."

Chris held back his laughter as Jay looked at Matt, eyes glistening with tears. "I- I killed Miriam?"

Matt nodded. "I'm sorry Jay." Jay looked like he was about to cry, so Matt looked at Adam and Chris, telling them to get their birthday gifts for him silently. They did as they were told, and Chris said, "Listen, we know it's early, but since you caught us... happy birthday."

Jay turned around and his expression became childlike as he saw the bags. The past sadness was gone; it was like promising a crying child a new toy; it worked like a charm. Jay took Chris' first and pulled out two concert DVDs, the bands handpicked by the Jericho taste. Jay thanked Chris, and then pulled out Adam's gift.

"...Debauchery?" he said, looking at the box, "What the hell is it?"

"A game, apparently," Jeff said, "We don't know how it's played, but apparently it's a great experience."

"What does Debauchery even mean?" Jay asked. He pouted and said, "It's times like this that I miss Miriam the most."

They ignored that last sentence and Matt said, "Well, it's like... um, I think the best way to describe it is indulgence in sexual activity."

"You got me a sex game?" Jay shook the box, but heard nothing. "Kick ass. We should play tonight."

Chris looked around. "The six of us?"

"Yeah, sometime after my dinner! It'll be fun."

"I don't know..." Chris said, looking at AJ nervously. A game like that, anything could happen, and he didn't want to get his hopes up. AJ's gaze dropped to the floor, also seemingly embarrassed by the implications of such a game. Adam, however, seemed ready to roll with it.

"Well, my birthday, I choose the game," Jay said. He slapped the box. "And we're playing Debauchery. And anyone who doesn't like it, well... we'll see if Debauchery can fill Miriam's shoes. But not replace. Never replace." Jay held the box up menacingly, and everyone decided not to argue with him.

"Well, come on," Matt said, "If we want to eat today, we have to finish cooking."

* * *

Around six, the boys began setting the table. They began eating in a way only full grown wrestlers could. They decided to skip the 'what I'm thankful fors' and just eat, knowing they'd have to sing happy birthday to Jay eventually.

During the meal, Chris got up to get more turkey. "Hey Matt, could you come help me slice the bird?" he asked. Matt nodded and followed him to the kitchen, and AJ watched them go. Jeff rolled his eyes, wanting to get Matt away from Chris so AJ and Chris could get together. All day, he tried to push them together, but Chris kept going back to helping Matt. And, by the way Matt dodged his questions about their relationship during the preparation, Jeff guessed there was none.

Jay, on the other hand, couldn't help but think AJ was jealous- but not of the same person Jeff thought he was jealous of. It was ridiculous- Matt and AJ practically hated each other- but AJ's focus seemed to be more on Matt than on AJ. _I'm thinking crazy. Yeah, I am. There's no way he's jealous of Chris. Besides, I think AJ said he was dating someone..._

"Hey, we're out of cranberry sauce too," Adam said, completely oblivious to the situation at hand, "Can someone go get some?"

"Yeah, AJ, could you go get more?" Jay asked, handing him the bowl. He decided to test out the theory and see how AJ would react to seeing them together.

"Sure." AJ grabbed the bowl and walked to the kitchen, and Jay and Jeff, both interested in seeing what could happen, leaned to look through the doorway. Adam followed their lead, trying to see what they were looking at.

Chris looked at Matt as they got more slices onto the plate. "You think it's working?"

Matt chuckled. "Oh, it's working. Do you see how he looked at us when we were leaving? Priceless."

Chris heard footsteps, and he put his arms around Matt, resting his head on his shoulder. He kissed Matt's temple as AJ walked in, eyebrows furrowing as he saw them together. He regained himself quickly and said, "I swear, if you jizz on the turkey-"

Matt jerked back so fast, he clunked the back of his head into Chris'. They groaned and put their hands to their heads, trying to stand up without an issue. When Matt finally got ahold of himself, he said, "Fuck, Jones, do you mind?"

"Well I'm sorry I barged in on your private time... that's right, this is the kitchen. Not exactly the place for private time," AJ scowled, "I just came in for more cranberry sauce, Grumpy. Bring some when you come back. And try not to get your nastiness in it." He shoved the bowl into Matt's hands, frowning as he trudged back to the dining room. He dropped heavily into his chair, staring at his half full plate absently.

Jay, Jeff, and Adam all began acting normal. After a while, Jeff said, "What happened?"

"Your stupid brother was practically getting molested in the turkey," AJ grumbled.

"How would he accomplish that?" Adam asked. Jay hit him, and Jeff said, "Look, AJ, I know."

AJ looked up, the surprise evident on his face. "What?"

"I know you have a crush on Chris," Jeff said, "And listen- it's all an act. Matt and Chris aren't together. I don't know why they're acting like this, but it's all pretend." AJ's face returned to normal and smiled.

"You just saw right through me, Jeffers." Jeff smiled back, and AJ said, "I just... I don't think, even if they weren't together, that I stand a chance with him."

"Don't belittle yourself," Jeff said, "You're attractive, you're funny... Chris would be lucky to have you!"

"Chris isn't his type," Adam said. Jeff shot a glare at Adam, and he said, "What? He isn't."

"Well I think he is, Copeland," Jeff snarled. But Jay felt inclined to agree with Adam; after all, it turned out AJ and him didn't work, and Chris was a little like him.

Matt and Chris returned, Matt carrying a platter of turkey and Chris holding a bowl of cranberry sauce. "Alright, fresh grub!" AJ grinned and grabbed the sauce. He helped himself to a big scoop, holding his smile on Chris as he sat down. He put down another scoop, practically soaking his food. Jay grabbed it before AJ could add another scoop. "So, Chrissy, how did you and Matt get together?"

"Uh." Chris looked at Matt, who shrugged. "I guess it started back at Bragging Rights. It just kind of went from there."

"Really." AJ said, loaded with false enthusiasm that shocked the table. Jay and Adam exchanged nervous glances, knowing this couldn't go well, as AJ looked from Matt to Chris. "So are you officially dating, or just having a good time?" He ignored the elbow Jeff jabbed into his ribs, still smiling cheerily.

"I guess we... I... we went out a few times," Chris said, completely unready for the interrogation. Matt mentally slapped his head, knowing that AJ could see through their ruse.

"Anywhere nice?" AJ pressed.

"Uh..."

"There was a great place in Washington," Matt stated, grabbing Chris' hand and shooting AJ a warning glare.

"Mmm." AJ ignored the look as he reached out with the tip of his tongue to capture a bit of cranberry and mashed potato from his fork deliberately, earning himself another elbow from Jeff. "So does this great place have a name? I mean, TNA's in Washington soon, and I'd _love _to go there."

Matt just evenly answered, "If you want to find a great place, go look for it yourself, Jones." They just stared at each other, and Jeff broke the silence.

"How's the cranberry sauce?"

"Amazing." AJ smacked his lips, licking his fork clean, still looking at Chris and Matt.

"I need a drink," Chris finally said, going to the kitchen to get something. If he was going to be warding off AJ all night, he needed alcohol to make him feel less guilty.

"I think we all need a drink," Adam said. At this rate, things were planning on getting very interesting, and he needed them drunk enough to start another food fight or something.

**AJ's onto Matt and Chris, Matt and AJ are still bumping heads, Adam wants to see a showdown, and Jeff and Jay are just trying to keep up... what'll happen?**

**Reviews Deeply Appreciated**


	6. Debauchery

****

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.

I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.

Thanks for the reviews, and, well, if you want to know what Debauchery is, read on. A game like this does exist; I just don't know what it's called, so I went with Debauchery. I warned there would eventually be man on man loving, so, yeah. You all know the drill.

Chapter Six: Debauchery

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..." The five others sung jovially as Matt and Jeff carried over the pies, making Jay grin. As more alcohol was consumed, the tension that hung in a cloud over the table finally began to dissipate, corny jokes being exchanged over the meal. But whenever AJ or Matt's eyes fell on the other, everyone could tell that it was just a calm; the storm could arrive at any moment.

But luckily enough, AJ stopped prying into Chris and Matt's 'relationship' and just turned his attention to making merry with the others and drinking. Adam challenged the whole table to see who could down a whole bottle first and, after three rematches, AJ's previous interrogation was all but forgotten.

The pies were eaten without drama, and more alcohol came out. No one went as far as shit faced drunk, but all six men were well passed buzzed. "So," Jay said, clapping his hands together, "Who's ready for some Debauchery?"

Jeff shook his head. "Nuh uh, I never try to learn the rules of a game when I can't think straight."

"Don't make me grab the box, Jeff," Jay warned, "I will slap you so hard you'll become blond again." Only Adam didn't understand how dangerous Jay was this weekend, so they all decided not to argue. They went to the living room and sat around the coffee table as Jay handed the box to Matt. "Here, find out how we play this game."

"Why do I have to do it?"

"Because I said so, smart one." Matt rolled his eyes and grabbed the box, opening it. Inside were four boxes with question marks on the top, the amount of them increasing by one. There was also a box of cards with black backs, and a rule book. Matt grabbed it and opened the book.

"Debauchery is a game to explore your more hedonistic side," Matt read a loud, "Each card has a dare on it, some tame, some more adventurous. Every person playing must completely agree that they'll do the dare on the card, no matter what it may be." Matt looked up. "We all agree?"

"Yes," Jay said, voice challenging anyone to test him.

Matt shook his head in amusement as he continued reading. "Every person must then choose a number. The maximum amount of players is nine. If you play with less than nine, then every number not taken can be considered a 'choose a partner'."

"I call one!" Adam shouted. Jay gave him a look, and Adam said, "Fine, two." Jeff claimed three, and Chris took four. AJ then took five, leaving Matt with six.

"Some of the dares call for the mystery boxes," Matt said, "The amount of question marks signifies the box number. If you get a mystery box, open the box and follow the instructions on the card. The only rule for this game is that all dares must be done. However, if a member feels uncomfortable with this and didn't understand that we gave the wussies a chance to get out in the beginning, do not force anything on them. Everything done must be consensual."

"Sounds like my kind of game," Jeff said, rubbing his hands together. Matt shuffled the cards before put the deck of cards on the table, and Jay pulled the first card. They stared at him, wondering what the dare was.

"Well, come on, Reso!" AJ shouted, "What does it say?"

Jay just shrugged and leaned over the table, pushing his lips into Chris'. Chris was caught off guard momentarily, but then returned the kiss. Jay put his hands on Chris' cheeks to deepen the kiss, pushing his tongue into Chris' mouth. After a few moments, Jay moved away, putting the card on the table. It clearly read _kiss four for a minute_.

"You could've told me what you were going to do," Chris said.

"You went along pretty well," Jay said, winking.

"Oh, hell yeah, I'm not complaining, but still."

"Shut up!" Adam said, leaning forward. He picked up a card and his shoulders slumped, a look of disappointment on his face. "If three were a stripper, what would his/her name be?" Adam crossed his arms. "Can I pick another one?"

"No," all five chorused.

"Well?" Jeff said, leaning closer to Adam, "What would my stripper name be?"

"Candy," Adam finally said.

"Oh, _lame_!" AJ said, "So unoriginal!"

"Too bad, that's my answer," Adam said. He picked up a card and passed it to Jeff. "There you go, pal." Jeff flipped the card over and a sly grin spread on his face.

"Guess whose the luckiest dude in this room?" Jeff taunted, "So, five..." He grinned at AJ before standing up and walking over. Before AJ could say anything, Jeff was on his lap. "You get a lap dance," he said. Chris whistled lowly and Adam did a cat call as Jeff ground his hips into AJ's, making the younger man groan. AJ's member instantly came to life, stiffening as Jeff continued to push his ass into AJ's lap.

After a while, Jeff stood up, AJ's eyes hazy after his little performance. AJ tried to catch his breath, ignoring how his body begged for attention. Everyone got a good giggle after that, and Chris picked up a card.

"Open mystery box four and follow the instructions inside." Chris grabbed the box and opened it, mouth opening slightly as he saw the contents. He picked up a paper on top and read _wear it for the rest of the game. _He was about to say something, but then Adam stood up and snatched the box, obvious glee on his face.

"Oh Chrissy, you'll look _gorgeous_." Adam pulled out the outfit, which was limited to frilly white panties and a black corset. Chris blushed and snatched the outfit, blocking out the peals of laughter as he went to the bathroom to change into it. As the door slammed, AJ picked up a card, the smile wiped off his face by what he read.

"Does it need Chris?" Jay asked. AJ shook his head, and then he looked at Matt. Jay sighed and snatched the card from AJ's hand, taking in what had the normally proud athlete stunned.

_Talk dirty to six for five minutes. _

Jay smiled. "Thank you God for this wonderful gift."

"Well, if you want to praise me as your God..." Adam said. Jay hit him before turning his attention to AJ.

"Go ahead," Jay said, "Do the dare." Matt, meanwhile, was beginning to feel uncomfortable, AJ looking from him to Jay. "What is it?" Matt finally asked, fed up with the attention. AJ sighed and opened his mouth, unable to believe what he was saying.

"You have no idea how much you turn me on, babe," he said, making Matt's cheeks burn, "I want to have you under me, hard and begging, pleading for me to split those legs of yours and just fuck you through the floor. Or maybe on my lap, riding me like a first class whore and jerking yourself off, putting on a little show for me. Would you put on a show for me, babe? Oh, I'm hard just thinking about it..." It didn't help Matt's discomfort that AJ actually _was _hard, the tent in his jeans from Jeff's past dare obvious as he licked his lips. "Won't you touch yourself for me, Mattie? Slip your hand down your jeans and show me how much you want me?"

"Whoa, what did I miss?" Five pairs of eyes fell on Chris Jericho, and the sight of him in the negligee, his normal clothes in one arm, was too much. Chris put his hands on his hips and said, "You're just mad you can't pull this look off like I can." Chris took his place again and AJ said, "Is five minutes up yet?"

"Who cares?" Jeff asked, "I was half ready to jerk myself off for you." Adam nodded, agreeing with Jeff.

"That was one of the hottest things I've ever heard. You know, Styles, if wrestling doesn't work out, I think you have a future in phone sex."

"Oh, shut up," AJ snapped. After a few moments of awkward silence, Matt picked up a card. He prayed the card didn't say 'jerk off', or the situation could become even more uncomfortable than it already was. Instead, all he had to do was suck on Adam's neck. Adam tried to cop a cheap feel, but Matt slapped his hands away as he left a bright red mark on his neck.

Jay had to do a striptease next, and the others threw singles his way as he slowly took off his shirt, showing only a shoulder and a pec before pulling it back on. Jeff ran out of singles and tossed change at Jay, hitting him on the leg with nickels. "OW!" Jay gasped, hopping and glaring at Jeff, effectively ending the nice little show. Adam had to suck Jay's nipple, making the other participants cat call. When Adam moved away, he began wiping his tongue, to rid it of 'Jay germs' while Jay tried to clean his nipple of 'Addy germs'.

"You taste of failure," Adam said.

"Well, your tongue feels like horse snot," Jay said, grabbing Chris' shirt to clean it off. Jeff and Matt exchanged a glance; they didn't even think about what would happen if one of them pulled the other's number. Jeff reached for a card and picked it up, smiling when he saw the person whose number was on the card was Jay's.

"If one were a food topping, what would he/she be?" Jeff studied Jay for a while before saying, "Cherry syrup."

"Why cherry syrup?" AJ asked.

"I dunno. He just looks like cherry syrup."

"How does he look like cherry syrup?" Matt asked, looking at Jeff like he was insane.

"I said so, that's why." Jeff handed a card to Chris, taking a moment to laugh at him in the outfit.

"I look hot in whatever I wear," Chris snapped, taking the card.

"Sure, Chrissy," Adam said, and Jay wished he had his camera with him. AJ, one step ahead of him, pulled out his phone and snapped a shot of Chris.

"HEY!"

"Send me that later," Jay mouthed as AJ put his phone away. AJ nodded, making Chris scowl as he looked at the card.

"Speaking of adventurous," Chris said. He tossed the card to Matt, who could only chuckle reading it. "Have six turn you on with his/her hands, and do the same for him/her." Chris turned to face Matt before unzipping his pants.

Jeff groaned, but Adam, Jay, and AJ watched intently as Chris pulled Matt's cock out, before pulling down his panties to do the same. Jeff looked at them in disappointment, but then noticed that AJ's eye twitched as Matt wrapped his hand around Chris' length. He forgot that seeing Matt with the one he had feelings for could be bad for AJ, but AJ showed no signs of wanting to look away, torn between lust and something that seemed like sadness.

Matt started running his thumb over the head of Chris' cock, pulling a moan from the older man, before rolling him in his hands. Chris just wrapped his hand around Matt, roughly rubbing his dick, making jolts of pleasure shoot through his body and his groin stand. Jay rubbed his legs together, showing how much the performance was affecting him. Adam gulped, trying to hold back his own arousal, and AJ's was at the point of painful now.

Matt moved his hand away first, making Chris groan, missing the talented hand. He did the same, leaning against the cushions and breathing in and out, pulling the panties back up. Matt went for his pants, but Jay stood up, grabbing his hand. "Nuh uh," he said, "We'll continue another time. Right now..." he pulled Matt's pants and underwear down and threw them aside before making Matt stand, pushing him to the stairs. He looked back at the foot, eyes locking with AJ's.

"You could join us, if you want," he said, thinking this could be the only way to see what was going through AJ's mind. Jeff was about to say something, but then AJ stood up, walking over to them and following them up the stairs. Matt's reaction to AJ's presence was completely unknown; even if he wanted to turn around, he couldn't. Jay's hands were on his back, making him climb up the stairs. Jeff, Adam, and Chris stared as they disappeared, all shocked by what just happened.

"How drunk is AJ?"

"I don't know," Adam said honestly. He looked at Chris, then at Jeff. He grinned and said, "You know, if they're going to have post-sex game fun, so should we."

**What is there to say?**

**Reviews Deeply Appreciated**


	7. Post Sex Game Fun

****

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.

I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.

Thanks for the reviews. I debated whether to let this chapter fall to smut or to continue the story, and it kind of fell to smut. But never again will I try to write a chapter with two different threesomes in it; too much work to make them sound different. It's not all just smut; the story returns near the end of the chap, thankfully. I knew I said it'd have slash but this went further than I thought. On another note, I've got a new poll on my page. Check it out if you can; I enjoy hearing from you guys. Well, read on and have fun.

Chapter Seven: Post Sex Game Fun

Clothes were abandoned as quickly as possible. Chris took too long getting the lingerie he was in off, so Adam and Jeff helped him out of it. Then, Jeff climbed into Chris' lap and began making out with him. rubbing against Chris' erection as his grew. Then, Adam pulled Jeff away from Chris, taking his time tasting him. Chris laughed and put his hands on Jeff's sides, running his hands down the hips as Adam made him groan.

Jeff pulled away from Adam and said, "I'll prepare your part if you prepare mine."

"Deal."

"Wait," Chris said, confused, "What the hell does that mean... oomph!" Jeff turned around and grabbed his arms, pulling him up. "Wait, Jeff, what're you..."

"Just shut up and go with it," Jeff said. He brought Chris to the couch and told him to bend over. Chris did as he was told, putting his hands on the armrest and putting his ass in the air. Jeff whistled. "Damn Chrissy, you have a great ass."

Chris' cheeks burned, and Adam crawled under Chris, laughing. "That's cute," Adam said, "So, Jeff, get to work." Chris' cheeks burned more, Adam's breath directly hitting his erection, making it twitch.

"Alright, what are you guys..." Chris' sentence was reduced to a moan as Jeff's hands pushed his cheeks apart and his tongue slowly caressed Chris' hole. Chris mewled, pushing into Jeff's tongue, when Adam went forward and licked around his shaft. Adam teased him for a moment before pulling him in, sucking Chris' cock at the same pace as Jeff lubed up his pucker with his tongue.

Chris gripped the armrest, knuckles growing white as they continued to work on him. He whimpered in pleasure, unsure whether to push onto Jeff or into Adam's mouth. Then, abruptly, both mouths were gone, and Chris let out a wail of disappointment. Adam chuckled and crawled out of under Chris, pinching one of his cheeks as he did.

Jeff laid down on his back on the floor, and then he beckoned them both over. Adam pushed Chris ahead of him, and Chris bent over Jeff. Jeff wrapped his hand around Chris' cock and his own, waiting for Adam to go behind them.

Chris had to bite his lip as Adam thrust inside of him, feeling a scream coming on. Once his cock was sheathed in Chris up to the hilt, Adam paused and waited for Jeff. Jeff nodded and he began rubbing their cocks together, jerking the both of them.

Adam forced his cock almost all the way out of Chris' passage before slamming back it. Chris was pushed into Jeff's hand, and Jeff pushed him back to Adam. Chris began to thrust more aggressively into Jeff's hand, drowning in wave after wave of pleasure. He panted from the exertion as he closed his eyes and concentrated on the sex, on making himself cross over the border and into the throes of what he was sure would be an incredible orgasm.

With a triumphant scream, Chris shot his load all over Jeff's body, riding out the pleasure. Adam came next, Chris' clenching muscles making him explode, and Jeff spilled into his hand and Chris' chest. They collapsed for a while, panting and trying to regain themselves, but then Jeff said, "If we don't clean this before the stain sets, Matt will kill us."

As Adam and Jeff got something to clean the carpet and themselves with, Chris looked at the stairs. He couldn't help but wonder what was happening up there.

* * *

Jay said nothing to AJ as he pushed Matt up the stairs, hoping that AJ was still following them. Meanwhile, AJ was staring at Jay's back, wondering what the hell possessed him to follow the man he once dated and the most annoying man on the planet up those stairs. All he knew was that something inside of him was telling him to go with them.

Jay pushed Matt into a room, and AJ followed them in. Matt still wasn't sure how to react to the situation; he, Jay, and AJ were all in one room, Matt was sprouting an erection and was wearing nothing on his lower half, and AJ was also straining against his jeans. Before he could think any further, Jay turned him around and pushed his lips into Matt's. Matt pushed back against him, putting his hands on Jay's head to push them closer together.

AJ sat on the bed and watched, unable to deny that the sight was sending jolts through his body. Jay pushed Matt towards the bed and laid him down on it, straddling him before reconnecting their lips. Jay pushed his tongue into Matt's mouth, exploring the younger man, pulling his hair to deepen the kiss.

Ripping from Matt when he needed to breathe, Jay looked away from him to AJ, moving off of Matt a little. He motioned AJ over, and AJ found himself moving to Jay and making out with him over Matt's body. Jay moved away only a fraction, whispering, "Are you sure?"

AJ looked from Matt, who reminded him of a deer in the headlights, to Jay. Without thinking about it, he answered Jay in a way that told him all he needed to know. AJ leaned down and took Matt's lips with his own, catching Matt by surprise. One of AJ's hands trailed down to his thigh, massaging nearby his erection, making Matt moan and melt into the kiss.

Jay's hands joined AJ's on Matt's body, questing for spots to force Matt to groan and writhe. Under assault from both of them, all Matt could do was try to keep his head. AJ nipped at his bottom lip while his hand moved up, caressing his lower chest and pushing up his shirt, keeping away from his member, while Jay sucked his ear and groped his hips.

Matt finally had enough of being on the bottom, pushing up, grabbing AJ's collar and pushing him in. Their tongues fought for dominance for a moment before AJ gave into Matt, allowing him to control the kiss. After all, Matt could think he was the more dominant for now.

Jay pulled Matt away from AJ and then pulled off his shirt. Matt and AJ began taking off Jay's clothes, making him giggle as he got naked. AJ's clothes followed, and soon, they were a tangle of inquisitive hands and sweating bodies.

Jay grabbed AJ and grinded into him, the friction between them forcing them to moan. AJ bit into Jay's neck roughly, and then pushed him onto the bed. Jay could only grin in anticipation, pretty sure about what was coming next.

Instead, AJ turned to Matt, cupping his cock. Matt's eyes fluttered, caught completely by surprise by AJ's sudden turn. AJ smirked and leaned in, breath on Matt's ear. "I'm surprised you left your _lover _downstairs," AJ whispered sarcastically, licking his ear, "Dressed like a complete tramp with two horny men, one of which is your own brother." Matt wanted to say something, but AJ began stroking him, making the words die on his lips. "It was all a lie, wasn't it?"

"Buh- bite me..."

"Gladly," AJ said, finally using the phrase Matt told him so many times against him. AJ bit down on Matt's ear, making him yelp. "You little liar."

The pain gave Matt the strength to push back, allowing him to get AJ off. AJ didn't fight with him; instead, he just gave Matt a glare which told him that the conversation wasn't over, and he turned to Jay. AJ leaned over Jay and kissed his chest, leaving a trail of kisses on his body as he went downward. Matt decided to get a little revenge, going behind AJ and pushing a finger into his hole. AJ gasped, his body fighting the intrusion, but then Jay sat up and kissed him, making him relax.

__

Fuck, Grumpy's going to top me...? He's going to gloat forever.

Matt's finger went deeper, loosening him up for another finger. AJ groaned as Matt pushed against his prostate, sending a shock through his body. _And I'm going to fucking love it. Yup, I'm officially Matt's bitch._

AJ calmed down enough to open Jay's legs and prepare him. Soon after he felt Matt's fingers leave him and his hand come down on AJ's ass, smacking him. "Get to it," Matt ordered. AJ couldn't help but find the order arousing, and he pushed into Jay, sheathing himself completely. AJ took a deep breath and went still, adjusting to the sensation and letting Jay do the same, enjoying how Jay felt around him. Then, he began thrusting, slowly sliding in and out, enjoying the sounds Jay made.

AJ felt Matt's hand on his back, pushing him lower and making his ass stick out. Matt roughly plunged into AJ, pushing him further into Jay. Jay screamed, head thrashing from side to side as Matt slammed in and out of AJ, making him fuck Jay. AJ was a mess, not really sure what was happening, only knowing that Matt had found his spot and kept pushing it.

AJ's eyes rolled back and he groaned, emptying out into Jay and setting off both Matt and Jay's own orgasms. Jay let out one last hoarse cry before releasing, splashing the pearlescent liquid all over himself and AJ, and Matt slumped against AJ's back with a sharp moan. Matt pulled out of AJ and pulled himself onto the bed, laying down next to Jay. AJ laid down on the other side, and Jay said, "Yeah. Best birthday gift ever."

"Anything for you, Jay," AJ said, eyes on Matt. Matt returned the stare and he knew that this was far from over between them. _But at least I topped. He might see through mine and Chris' poorly executed plot, but at least I topped._

* * *

Matt woke up first the next morning, finding Jay's arm around him. He pulled it off and looked at both him and AJ sleeping in the bed. _So it wasn't a dream. I really did fuck Allen Jones. _Matt grabbed a pair of boxers off the floor and his shirt and put them on. He walked downstairs with his hand on his head, deciding that he was in desperate need of coffee.

He walked into the dining room and saw Chris at the table, a cup of orange juice in his hands. "Hey Matt," Chris said.

"Hey." Matt sat at the table and said, "I think we're busted."

"Matt, I knew we were busted during dinner," Chris said, "So, what happened upstairs?"

"What do you think happened?"

"There's a reason I'm asking you," Chris said. Matt sighed, finally saying, "I fucked AJ while AJ fucked Jay."

Chris' eyes widened with surprise, but then he started laughing. "Seriously? You fucked AJ? You, Matthew Hardy, fucked Allen Jones?"

"It just happened, alright?" Matt snapped, "I didn't plan it. One second, we're playing that stupid game, and the next, AJ's kissing me."

"He _kissed _you?" Chris started laughing even more. "Oh God, and I thought I was drunk. You two must've been all kinds of fucked."

"Then how do I remember everything?" Matt asked, "I wasn't drunk, okay? I knew what was happening, and I knew it kind of felt wrong, but it also kind of felt right."

"Ah. Big Matt knew AJ was the enemy, but little Matt knew a warm ass is a warm ass," Chris drank some of the juice, "You've got a little conundrum, pally."

"I don't have anything but hunger." Matt stood up and went to the fridge. "It's not like we have to make a big deal of it. Sex is sex, right?"

* * *

AJ sat up on the bed, thinking about the night before. Now that it was all over, he had time to reflect. Why did he go up those stairs? Why did he allow all of that to happen? AJ couldn't deny the experience was amazing, but it shouldn't have happened. Especially not with Matt, of all people. He was about self discipline in life, and he showed none last night. Guess alcohol and an erection could really screw up better judgement.

"AJ?" Jay sat up, catching AJ's attention. He sat next to him and said, "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"I'm asking a serious question, so I want a serious answer," Jay said, "What's going on between you and Matt?"

"What?" AJ shook his head. "Me and Grumpy? Jay, he just annoys me-"

"Yet you've acted like a jealous ex when you thought Matt was with Chris and you followed us up the stairs," Jay pointed out.

"You wanted me to, Jay."

"And since when did you ever do what I wanted you to do?" Jay crossed his arms, and AJ just chuckled.

"Matt's loud mouthed," he said, "He's rude, he thinks he's smarter than everyone, he uses second grade comebacks like bite me..." Jay kept on glaring at him. "What do you want me to say, Jay? I'm telling you the truth here."

"There's more to it than that," Jay said, "And eventually, you'll have to tell me."

"There's nothing to tell." AJ got up and began picking up his clothes. Suddenly, he turned to Jay and said, "Where the hell are my boxers?" Jay giggled. "Man, I'm serious. I can't find my boxers. They're blue, cotton..."

Jay stood up and looked around. "I don't see them either," he said, "Look, just go commando for now. You could always put on some undies later." AJ just put on his clothes, and Jay followed suit, going downstairs. Adam was down there now, eating some cereal, but Jeff was still asleep. Chris and Matt were both eating bacon, and Matt said, "If you want some, they're in the pan."

Jay and AJ both got plates and sat at the table. Adam then said, "So- am I the only one up for another round of Debauchery?"

"Yes," Chris said.

"You _enjoyed _it," Adam said, rolling his eyes.

"So not the point." Chris, however, stopped arguing.

"Look, we'll save it for another time, okay?" Matt said. Adam crossed his arms and grumpily said, "Spoil sports."

**AJ's boxers are missing, Chris and Matt's charade is over, Jay thinks there's more to Matt and AJ's rivalry, and Adam's grumpy. What'll happen next time on the Thanksgiving Debacle?**

**Reviews Deeply Appreciated**


	8. Are These Yours?

****

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.

I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.

Thanks for the reviews, and, well... have fun!

Chapter Eight: Are These Yours?

Jeff stretched his muscles out before heading downstairs. All the others were already at the table, eating strips of bacon, except for Adam, who was munching on cereal. Jeff sat on Adam's lap and began stealing some of his cereal, popping the food into his mouth.

"Hey!" Adam shouted.

"Shut up," Jeff replied, crumbs flying out of his mouth and hitting Adam, much to the older male's chagrin. "So, whose up for another round of Debauchery?"

"We already turned that idea down, Jeffers," Chris said.

"Why? You enjoyed it."

"That's what I said!" Adam exclaimed, "But _no, _they all want to ruin the fun."

"I think one sex game for this weekend is more than enough," AJ said.

"You're just mad because you said those things to Matt," Jeff said, but then he remembered something. "That's right, you followed them up the stairs."

AJ's face turned red before he said, "I did it for Jay, okay? It was for his birthday."

"This isn't breakfast talk," Matt said, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever." Jeff turned to Adam before whispering in his ear, "We'll have a one on one game later."

"Oh hell know you won't," Jay said, wiping the grin off of Adam's face, "That's my present, and you two can't play with it."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

Jeff crossed his arms and pouted, giving Jay the puppy dog eyes. But Jay wasn't budging; he already knew Jeff's tricks, and he wasn't going to fall for them. "Matt, get me bacon," Jeff said, sighing in defeat.

"You can get it yourself."

"Please? You're right there!" Jeff said, pointing out that Matt was, indeed, the closest to the pan. Matt rolled his eyes and stood up, putting a few strips on a plate for Jeff.

"By the way, which one of you assturds moved my pants?" Matt asked, "I came down here and couldn't find them anywhere."

Jeff's smile gave away his guilt right away, and Adam pinched his side, trying to make it go away. But it was too late; Matt already saw it. "What did you do to my pants?"

"Well- and this is hypothetical, Matt- what would you say if I draped them over the mailbox?"

"WHAT?" Matt put down the plate and ran outside, the others following close behind him. There, on top of the mailbox, were his pants and boxers, barely held in place, pants legs waving in the wind. "You put my pants on the mailbox?"

"Now how did those get there?" Jeff said. Matt took his clothes before hitting Jeff with a pants leg and going inside. Jeff rubbed his cheek where the pants got him. "MEANIE!" He screamed, before going back inside.

"Why do we come here again?" Chris asked.

"Because silly southerners make us a free meal," Adam said.

"Right."

"Gee, thanks guys. Nice to feel appreciated." AJ went back inside, and the three Canadians all just shared a laugh. Sometimes, you just had to make fun of the southerners.

"What's the point of Thanksgiving anyway?" Jay asked.

"I think it's just a holiday for non-Americans to abuse Americans and get food cooked for them," Adam said.

"Can't we just domesticate one?" Chris asked.

Jay nodded. "I'll take AJ. He makes one damned good peach cobbler." He went back to the house, and Adam and Chris exchanged a look.

"We each take one Hardy?" Chris asked.

Adam snickered. "No way. Matt and Jeff are mine. Find your own Southerner."

* * *

After a while, they eventually settled down, choosing to watch a movie. After a long argument about which movie to watch, Jay eventually won and they began watching _Tombstone_. Jay loved Doc Holliday, and his eyes were completely glued to the screen, even though it was only in the old _Tombstone _trailer.

"Whoa, flashback," Chris chuckled, "I still had long hair when I first saw that trailer."

"So did I. Shut up," Jay said, not turning to look on Chris. Instead, his face was stuck on Val Kilmer as he spun the pistol around his fingers.

"I was only fourteen," AJ sat on the couch. "Wow. Seems like ages ago."

"It was. You're now champion. Now, stop with the nostalgia and watch." A second later, it went to the main menu, and Jay turned to Matt. "Can we get snacks for this?"

"Sure, let's see what I got." Matt and Jay went to the kitchen while the others got comfortable. Jeff curled up into Adam, whispering something into his ear about stealing the Debauchery game later, and AJ and Chris pretty much spread out across the floor.

"So," Chris said, looking over at AJ.

"Yes?"

"Can we talk?"

"What about?"

"This has gone way out of hand," Chris said, "Look, I like you. You're pretty damned funny, and you're cool to hang around. But there's absolutely nothing between us."

AJ shook his head in disbelief. "Do you really think I had feelings for you?"

Jeff pulled away from Adam to watch the exchange. "Well, I, uh-" Chris smiled sheepishly. "Yes."

"Relax, Jericho. I know there's nothing between us." AJ slapped his shoulder. "We're buddies, that's it. Cool?"

"Cool," Chris said, unable to believe how easily that went. Suddenly, Jay screamed out AJ's name, while Matt screamed out "Hey!"

AJ, Chris, Jeff, and Adam all ran to the kitchen, seeing Matt try to pull up his pants, which were pooled around his ankles. Jay pushed Matt's hands away and said, "Hey AJ, are these yours?"

AJ stared at Matt for a minute, mortified seeing his boxers on Matt. Chris turned around, unable to figure out what to possibly say, while Jeff hid his amusement with his hand and Adam held his breath, knowing he'd laugh if he let it go.

Matt pulled up his pants, crossing his arms and looking at Jay, when AJ finally found his voice. "Yes," he said, making Matt's cheeks turn pink. Matt instantly moved forward, pushing past his brother and going to the bathroom. AJ followed, quickly running after Matt.

"What did you do?" Chris asked, looking at Jay before trying to follow. Jay moved forward and grabbed Chris' arm.

"Don't you dare! Stop messing with fate!" Jay snapped, "Damn it, I couldn't have planned it better myself!"

"Planned what?" Adam asked.

"Dude, Matt's wearing AJ's boxers," Jay explained, "This is a total push in the right direction!" He saw all their dumbfounded faces and sighed. "AJ wants Matt, and, judging by how he fucked AJ last night, Matt probably feels the same."

"You're insane," Chris said.

"Am I? Why did AJ follow us up the stairs, then? Why did AJ act so jealous of Matt and you? Common factor here is Matt, if you were wondering." Jay gestured to the door. "Those two have a shitload of unresolved tension that they need to get through, lest another pie be thrown. Trust me, and let fate and I keep pushing them together, and we can finally have a normal holiday together. Or am I the only one tired of hearing them argue?" Nobody answered, and Jay said, "Good. Let's watch _Tombstone_. Chris, help me carry the food over."

* * *

Matt slammed the bathroom door shut and pulled down his pants, unable to believe he was so stupid to put on a pair of boxers that weren't his. Matt couldn't even believe that just happened. One moment, he was pulling out chips and beer with Jay, and the next, his pants were pulled down, and Jay was screaming for AJ to come into the room. He couldn't remember ever being more embarrassed then he was now. He was about to take off the boxers when the door opened. AJ walked in, and Matt said, "Do you mind?"

"Those are my boxers, Grumpy."

"Yeah, and I'm taking them off. Get out." AJ stood in front of the door, showing no signs of wanting to get out. "Fine then." Matt took off the boxers and shoved them into AJ's hands before putting his pants back on. He went towards the door, but AJ still didn't look like he was going to move. "Get out of the way, Jonesey."

"Not until we talk."

"Get out of the way," Matt repeated.

"Not until we talk," AJ said, crossing his arms. Matt considered making him move, but decided not to, and just to allow AJ to talk.

"What do you want?" Matt finally asked.

"What do I want?" AJ pushed off the door and walked closer to Matt. "You know, I may not completely like them, but I understand Chris' reasons for pretending to be in your relationship. But you I don't get. If you thought I liked Chris, why would you purposely try to make me think you were dating him? I mean, I don't like you, but I wouldn't do that shit to you. I wouldn't try to hurt you like that. So why would you do that to me?"

"I wasn't thinking about you," Matt said, not backing away, "I did it for Chris. Get over yourself."

"Liar."

"Trust me, I did it for Chris," Matt replied, "Chris went through a break up recently, and he wasn't ready to get hit on."

"Really?" AJ pressed.

"Yeah, really."

"Then tell me about it. Tell me about Chris' break up," AJ said, "We're all friends here, right? So let me here the story that got Chris so hurt that he'd lie to the rest of us."

"That's Chris' business."

"I expected something like that."

"What do you want me to say?" Matt asked, "It's not like I can spill Chris' secrets to you. And if I don't, you're going to treat me like a criminal. Move out of the way."

AJ remained motionless, but then he just opened the door. Matt wondered if AJ was being sincere or if this was some kind of trick. In the end, he decided to leave, quietly daring AJ to do something. When he did nothing, Matt walked to the living room and sat on the couch, trying to catch up to the movie. AJ came out seconds later, sitting as far from Matt as possible.

Chris bent over to Jay and whispered, "Just so you know, I think that's strike one for you and fate."

"Just shut up and watch the movie." Jay just told himself it would need a little more pushing on both sides until they eventually admitted it. Soon, it would happen. Soon.

**Reviews Deeply Appreciated**


	9. New Perspective

****

Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.

I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.

Thanks for the reviews, and, well... have fun!

Chapter Nine: New Perspective

Jay went to talk to Matt after the movie, trying to figure out what happened in the bathroom between him and AJ, but Matt refused to talk to him. Matt just went into the backyard, ignoring Jay Jay scratched his head as Adam came up to him. "What's up?"

"I think Matt's mad at me," Jay said, sounding a little sad. Adam wondered maybe if Jay thought his whole plot through. He was worried about what Jay was putting himself in the middle of, but Jay always seemed to find the need to make his friend's problems his own. Sometimes he just wished Jay would think things through instead of just doing things.

"Well, no duh. You embarrassed him in front of everyone." Adam shrugged. "He'll get over it, I think he's more upset that he was stupid enough to put on AJ's boxers." Jay sighed and nodded. He thought for sure that Matt wearing AJ's boxers would be something they could share a laugh over; not something that made AJ confront Matt in the bathroom. It was definitely the last thing Jay wanted, but it was like the saying- things always get worse before they get better.

"I guess. But you know, fate and I have a fight on our hands." Jay began walking away, but then he stopped and pointed at Adam. "You know what? I hate stubborn bastards."

"Pot," Adam snickered, thinking about how stubborn Jay himself could be. He wondered if he should follow Jay, but decided it would be better not to; Jay definitely needed some time to himself. He walked back into the living room and saw that Chris was gone, but AJ and Jeff were on the couch, talking quietly. He sat next to Jeff and just listened to the conversation.

"I don't know what to do anymore," AJ said, eyes on Jeff, "I mean, why the fuck do I come to his damned house just so he can be a dick?"

"Matt's not so bad," Jeff said, trying to find some middle ground between his brother and one of his best friends, "And you know it. Sometimes you two get along."

"When we're doing something stupid, like a sex game, or when we've got food in our mouths Other times, we just fight." AJ threw his hands in the air, almost as if he were giving up. "I dunno, maybe I should just leave."

"That won't fix anything," Adam said, inserting himself into the conversation, "Why don't you two try to bury the hatchet instead? I mean, think about it. You two share so many friends. It's not like you two can run from each other forever. So... why don't you squash this?"

AJ shrugged. "I don't know." He stood up and said, "Going for a walk. I'll be right back." Jeff and Adam watched as AJ walked out of the door. It slammed shut, making both of them jump; somebody was testy. After a few minutes, Jeff turned to Adam, looking as serious as he could look.

"We need to fix this weekend. Now," Jeff said. He scratched his head. "I will not let this holiday go to the dogs, and you have to admit, it's stinking right now."

Adam nodded. "Don't worry your pretty little head, Jeffy. I know just the cure." Adam grinned. "So, what do you think about..."

AJ leaned against the door of Matt's house, putting his hand on his face. Sometimes, he just thought that he should leave. After all, it was Matt's house. At the same time, though, he enjoyed these vacations more than anything. He grew to love Adam and Chris like great friends, and Jay and Jeff were like his brothers (who he'd sometimes have sex with... okay, wrong analogy). He even found himself missing Matt sometimes, but then they'd just argue, and fight- although he never had sex with Matt before.

Did this change things between them at all? He had to admit, it felt great, Matt's body slapping against his as he pushed into Jay, but it was sex. Of course it felt great. And dominating Matt those few times before Matt finally got him was pretty nice too. But what, did he need to have threesomes with Matt and Jay all the time just to keep them from arguing?

Maybe that last one was my fault... He pulled his boxers out, looking them over. He couldn't put them back on now, not after Matt wore them. Did he really have to yell at him like that, corner him in the bathroom like that? "What the fuck am I supposed to do with you?" AJ made up his mind already; he was going to find a way to, if not make him and Matt friends, at least the way they were before this weekend even started.

****************

Chris found Matt sitting by the hot tub, playing with his laces. Chris sat next to him and said, "So, how'd it go?"

Matt looked at Chris, giving him a look. "I stripped in front of him and then he tried to bully me into telling him why we were pretending to be together. It felt like I was in a prison movie."

Chris chuckled, and he said, "What did you tell him?"

"I told him that it was your business, so he could just fuck off," Matt said

"What did I do to deserve you?" Chris sighed. "You should've just told him."

"You said you weren't ready to talk about it."

Hearing his own words played back at him just reminded him how loyal Matt could be. Chris wrapped an arm around Matt. "Look, Matt, I loved him. And I thought he loved me." Chris bit his lip, lost in the memory. "I never thought I'd be the heartbroken one in this relationship. That was the reason I accepted when he asked me out; I thought it would be an ego boost, as awful as that sounds. But after a few dates, I found myself falling for Paul, and-"

"Stop it," Matt said, "Don't- if you can't, then don't." Matt grinned. "I'll be here whenever you feel like you can talk about Paul, okay?"

"Alright," Chris answered. He smiled; Matt had become his best friend so quickly. He couldn't believe how much Matt supported him sometimes, especially when you took into account his massive ego.

"MATT! CHRIS! GET IN HERE!" Jeff shouted, breaking the serene calm they just achieved. Matt and Chris ran inside, thinking something was wrong, but then they just saw Adam and Jeff on the couch, grinning.

"This won't end well, will it?" Chris turned to Matt, who just shrugged.

"No, no, we have a great idea!" Jeff said, bouncing up and grabbing Matt's hands. "You know, I don't like how moody and nasty the air of this house has gotten, and neither does my Addy, so we decided that we're going to the city. We're going to the city, and we're going to party in nightclubs, and we're going to sleep in a cheap motel like rockstars..." Jeff put on his best pout, jumping more. "Please..."

Matt rolled his eyes. "Do we have to?"

"We need to, Matt, we really need to!" Jeff yelled, "I mean, Chris has his issues, you and AJ have your thing-" He deliberately downplayed it to make his point, "Jay's got his own little craziness going on, and me and Addy know that this trip'll be great for us all."

"Look," Adam said, "Matt, I think having a lot more to do than watch movies will be good for us. And you know that the last thing we need is to stay in this house and just have the nerves build higher on higher."

Jeff nodded with everything Adam said, showing he agreed. When Matt showed no signs of caving, Jeff said "...PLEASE?" Jeff only hoped the patented Jeff Hardy begging would break down his older brother.

Chris patted Matt's back, deciding that sometimes it was better to join the craziness, rather than be against it. "You know, I could use some party time."

Matt forced a smile; he had no doubt that this wouldn't end well, like Chris said earlier. "Fine," Matt said, "Fine. Let's do this."

Jeff clapped his hands excitedly. "Yay! I'll go tell AJ, and Addy, you tell Jay. You two can go pack the things you'll need- we can make this a two night affair or something!" Jeff ran to the door, leaving immediately, obviously wanting to tell AJ as soon as possible. Adam hugged Matt and Chris, whispering they'd have fun, and he ran upstairs to find Jay.

Matt sat on the couch, putting his head in his hands. Chris studied his friend before saying, "It won't be that bad."

""Let's see if you still think that at the end of this trip."

**Reviews Deeply Appreciated**


	10. Shut Up and Drive

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Thanks for the reviews, and, well... have fun!**

**Chapter Ten: Shut up and Drive**

As soon as the message got around, the group all accepted the idea, packed very little, and began to load Jeff and Matt's cars. Jay had cooled down a little, reinforcing that both his secretly lovestricken friends were stubborn, and that was just another reason that they should be together. AJ wasn't sure what time in the city would do other than waste their money, but he just went with the flow.

As soon as they were ready to go, AJ decided it best to talk to Matt before they left. Chris and Matt were entering the car, so AJ walked to the driver's seat and stood by the open door. Matt looked him over before shaking his head. "What?"

"I'm sorry," AJ said, "Look, even though you and I don't like each other, we can't ruin the vacation for the others anymore than we already have. So... truce?" AJ held out his hand tenatively, hoping he hadn't messed up again. Matt didn't say or do anything, so AJ said, "You were right. It was none of my business, and I shouldn't have pried. I'm sorry to you and to Chris." He added the last bit, nodding over to Chris, who just nodded in acknowledgement. But Matt did nothing but stare, frustrating AJ a little, but he kept himself from saying anything.

"Alright then. Thanks for your time." AJ began walking over to Jeff's car. _There's nothing I can do now. I tried. I guess I just have to avoid him from here on out..._

"Hey Styles?" AJ froze in place, Matt's voice breaking through his train of thought, and he turned to Matt.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry too. For acting like an ass... and for wearing your boxers." Matt smiled, and AJ returned the smile, feeling a little more comfortable. "And you're right; we should bury the shit so that we don't ruin what's left of this vacation."

AJ nodded, and then Matt looked over to the other car, seeing Jeff leaning over towards Adam seductively and Jay looking like- well, Jay. That was suspicious looking enough. "You want to ride with us?"

AJ only needed to glance at the other car once. "Yes." Matt unlocked the backseat and AJ climbed in. Chris couldn't help but laugh; he wondered what Jay was going to infer out of that.

* * *

"And fate strikes again!" Jay said, grinning, "Yup, it's going to happen soon. I can feel it."

"Give your conspiracy theories a rest," Adam scoffed. He pushed Jeff away, reminding him teasingly that they'd have all the time in the world soon enough. Jeff grumpily sat properly into the driver's seat, and then he saw Jay pull a familiar looking deck of cards out.

"Completely unfair!" Jeff shouted.

"Oh shush, we're not playing. I just want to see how kinky some of these dares get." Jay began looking through the cards, and Adam jumped over to the back to see along with him.

"Well? Read them aloud!"

"Oh, that one's..." Adam purred, to make Jeff even more jealous. It worked; Jeff took the keys out and shook them in the air.

"I will not drive until you two morons share the naughty goodness with me." Jeff said.

Adam and Jay laughed, but then Jeff glared at them, effectively ending the giggles.

"Oh shit, he's serious," Adam said.

"No shit sherlock. You think it's too late to get into Matt's car?"

"Yes, it is," Jeff said, "Now tell me what they say. Read them aloud and maybe I won't decide to run us into a ditch."

"Sad thing is, I can actually believe that he would do that." Adam opened his mouth to read the card so that Jeff can hear, but Jay covered his mouth with his hand.

"We can't let him win!" Jay turned his attention to Jeff, sneering. "Bring it on, Uncle fucker." Jay crossed his arms, but then Jeff did too, and Adam was stuck between the two hateful glares. Adam gulped, wondering who was the lesser of the two evils. _I'm too young and way too hot to die... who'd be less likely to kill me if I didn't side with them?_

"Have 4 draw an X on their body in secret and then look for it," Adam read. Jay's eyes widened in shock and anger over Adam's betrayal, and Adam slid over to the door, putting his hands up like a shield. "I'm sorry; don't hurt me!" Adam said, cowering behind his arms. When nothing happened, Adam peeked through his fingers and a shiver coursed through his body as he saw a cold, calculating grin plastered on Jay's face.

"Oh, I wouldn't do _that_," Jay said. Adam quietly moved back to the front, hoping distance would protect him from his psycho best friend. _Maybe I should've sided with Jay..._

Adam felt a bump against the back of his chair, and he saw Jay behind him, kicking his chair. "You're going to be my bitch for the rest of the ride, Copeland."

Adam looked to Jeff for help, but Jeff just chuckled and started the car. Adam pouted as he felt Jay kick the back of his seat again. _Fuck Jeff. I definitely should have sided with Jay. Jesus save me..._

* * *

"Where are they?" Matt said, looking in the rear view mirror for Jeff's car. He couldn't see them at all, and they were supposed to be right behind them.

Chris shrugged. "Fuck them. Keep driving. And don't stop at any truck stops."

"You irrational fear amuses me," Matt said, smiling at him. Chris stuck his tongue out, unwilling to do anything more on the road.

"What do you think they're doing?" AJ said, looking back.

"I think Jay found Miriam and he's slaughtering them." Matt and AJ looked at Chris like he was an alien. "What? Just a joke. Don't be so uptight."

"It wasn't very funny," AJ replied. After a few minutes of quiet, Chris put his hands in the air, surrendering.

"If you're going to double team me, then fine. I surrender. It wasn't funny." Chris put his head against the dashboard, laughing a little. They really were too similar. Maybe Jay, in his odd way, had a point. Under his breath, he muttered "Is it too much to ask that you two can be friends?"

"What?" Matt and AJ said simultaneously.

"Nothing," Chris said quickly. Luckily enough, they dropped it, instead choosing to continue speculating over Jeff, Jay, and Adam's whereabouts.

"So... low gas?" AJ asked.

"Maybe," Chris said, "Maybe Adam and Jeff are making out."

"I could believe that too easily," Matt said. "Hey, is it possible to upgrade my baby brother into an awesome canine companion?"

"You have Lucas," Chris said.

"Nothing wrong with another dog," Matt said.

"And people find it cute when a dog feels the need to hump everything in sight, whereas when Jeff does it, it's just creepy," AJ added.

Matt bit his lip, trying not to laugh. "So, do you believe the idea that your ear buzzes when people talk about you?"

"No," Chris said, "Otherwise my ears would be buzzing all the time." And meanwhile, in another van, Jeff was hitting his ear, trying to make the buzzing go away.

"And here comes the king of the world," AJ said mockingly.

"The best in the world at what he does." Matt added, and Chris nodded. He raised his arms as if he were the savior himself, smiling at them.

"Thank you for your acknowledgement, my faithful servants. Just know that your lord has heard you, and I have come to make your lives meaningful."

"And I'm a duck," AJ rolled his eyes.

"No, not a duck," Chris said, shaking his head. "A cabbage."

"A WHAT?"

"You heard me. I did not stutter." Chris looked out the window, leaving AJ to contemplate how he could possibly be likened to a head of cabbage. _Cabbage? Me? No way. Why would he call me a cabbage...?_ In the driver's seat, Matt just shook his head and wondered if he should be bringing his friends to a mental asylum instead of to the city. Right about now, it felt appropriate.


	11. Friends? Really?

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Chapter Eleven: Friends? Really?  
**

"You look like a whore."

"Says the faggot in the glittery attire." Jeff smacked his lips together, making sure the paint on his lips was done. He wanted to paint his face for the night, going with blue, black, and white.

Chris shook his head; how little Jeff knew of the ways of the rockstar. "Not faggot. Rock God."

"Faggot." Jeff repeated, making Chris snarl.

They'd finally gotten to a cheap motel two hours ago, and every one paid for the two rooms except Jay (who milked his birthday for all it's worth) and Jeff (who believed that he shouldn't pay for things when he had a perfectly good Mattie to pay for him). After a while of watching bad TV and a burp contest between Jay and AJ, Jeff decided that they needed to escape.

In the form of going to a club and acting insane.

It would be fun, anyway.

Jay and AJ were in one of the bathrooms; Jay demanded that he get to dress AJ, because he wasn't going to be seen with someone whose idea of style consisted of 'whatever's comfortable'. Adam declared his outfit to be a secret, and holed up in the other bathroom. Matt was on the bed, twiddling his thumbs, trying not to laugh at his two idiots.

"Alright," Chris shouted, "Are you assclowns ready, or what? I've been waiting too long now!"

"Can't rush perfection, Irvine!"

"Just stop trying Reso, you'll never be me!"

"Faggot!" Chris snarled again, crossing his arms, preparing to unleash a tirade of harsh vernacular that no one save himself could understand, but then Adam came out of the bathroom.

"Whose a faggot?" They stared at him for a minute while he stood there, oblivious to everything that just went down. "What?"

Jeff walked over, throwing his arms around Adam's waist and leaning his face against his arm. "Mine. He's mine tonight."

"Really?" Adam really didn't have a problem with being Jeff's for the night, especially not after being Jay's bitch the whole car ride.

"Look at you!" His eyes went from the tight muscle shirt to the jeans Adam chose to wear. "Your outfit screams rip me off. You're mine tonight."

"Jackpot," Adam grinned, throwing an arm around Jeff. Chris and Matt exchanged a glance; neither of them thought for a moment that this wasn't going to happen. Those two acted like they loved each other, then teased one another, and then hated each other, and then loved each other again... all in under an hour. And then they'd fuck. It was the Jeff/Adam dance, and Matt and Chris wouldn't dare to search for sense in them. "So, can we go? I'm in need of food."

"No." Matt nodded his head towards the other room. "Jay's still primping Jones."

"Well, tell him to hurry his ass up."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Chris cupped his hands around his mouth. "Okay, come on Jay, you're holding up the group!"

"I only need one more minute!"

"I say we drag him out," Adam said. He wasn't willing to be patient; he had a lot to do before he spent the rest of the night getting into Jeff's pants. After all, he was pretty willing to have sex again after the threesome, but he also had other things on his mind. That meant he had to do everything _before_; there was no after when it came to sex with Jeff. Just sleep.

"Seconded. Let's go." Before Chris and Adam could make a move, entertaining the two Hardys, Jay came out of the bathroom.

"You couldn't be patient for a minute?"

"No. Where's Jones?"

"You ruin my grand unveiling, I murder you. Dead." Jay glared at Chris, then at Adam, warning them both of what he could do. Adam shivered, remembering the whole drive over, Jay's legs pushing into his chair, and the random other villainous things Jay did to him. Chris, meanwhile, could remember when he first came to the Hardy house, the dictionary cracking against his head. They couldn't help but fear this creepy little bastard. "Good. Now, Mr. Allen Jones, please rejoin us."

There was a pause, but then they heard a resounding "No."

Jay turned to the door, glaring at it. If heat beams came out of Jay's eyes, they would've burned through the door and melted AJ right where he stood. "I spent a good amount of time making you look less like a retarded hickboy then you actually are, now move your ass."

"I want my clothes back." Jeff chuckled, muffling his laughter against Adam's sleeve, while Matt watched the whole thing amused. Coming to the city was definitely a good idea.

"I will _burn _your damn clothes if you try to change."

"Your clothes are tight."

"You look sexy, now move your ass."

"_No._"

Jay shook his head, muttering under his breath, marching into the other room. Moments later, Jay came back, tugging a very reluctant AJ Styles behind him. And everyone knew it as soon as they saw AJ; he was right. The clothes _were _tight. But it was the kind of tight where it showed off his body, not threatened to break off Hulk-style. Jay had a pretty good idea, with the jeans and the black vest. He also got AJ a pair of light brown shades, effectively making him look good, but also reintroducing him to being Christian Cage's bitch.

Perhaps he was better off being Christian Cage's bitch, if he looked like that.

"Behold my creation." Jay pinched AJ's cheeks, trying to get a smile out of the obviously uncomfortable man. "It is alive." Jeff whistled, and Chris clapped. Everyone seemed amused by AJ's outfit (and somewhat attracted) except for AJ himself.

"Get your hands offa me," AJ said, hissing through his pinched cheeks, hardly able to speak between Jay's fingers.

"Shut up, you're my pet project tonight, so you'll smile and like it."

Finally, the four spectators just began laughing. Jeff and Adam were using each other to hold themselves up, giggling against each other, while Matt fell against the bed laughing and Chris leaned against the wall, near tears. Jay smacked AJ's cheek softly, and AJ narrowed his eyes under his shades. "I'm gonna get you, asshole."

"We'll see about that." His hand fell from AJ's face and Jay turned around, smiling at his laughing comrades. "We ready to go?"

"We've been ready to go for ages." Adam opened the door, holding it and gesturing to it. "After you, Dr. Frankenstein."

Jay grinned; he liked it when his references were not only understood, but continued by his audience. It made him feel important and a little less nerdy. He walked out first, and Adam and Jeff followed him out, talking about getting everyone drunk enough to play something like Debauchery tonight.

"Am I the only one who can hear them?" AJ asked, pointing towards Jeff and Adam.

"No," Chris said. Matt shook his head, affirming what AJ thought; Jeff and Adam weren't whispering at all, and the whole group knew about their plan to make them drunk. They knew the whole game was at Matt's house still, but Jay did have the deck with him. That was enough to convince the terrible two that another round of Debauchery should happen.

"M'not playing that game again."

"None of us are," Matt said, "They're delusional. They'll just have to be happy playing with each other."

"That's more than enough." Matt and AJ both stared at Chris, surprised by his answer. "What? You two weren't the ones who had sex with them last night. They're good, trust me." Chris walked out, aware that both men were still staring, but he didn't care. He was Chris fucking Jericho and they could kiss his ass if they didn't understand what being in the middle of a Jeff and Edge sandwich was like.

"Is it just me, or does it sound like Chris wouldn't mind playing again?"

"I think, in the grand scheme of things, none of us would mind. Just not today." AJ shrugged, following Chris out. Staying in a room alone with Matt longer than necessary could ruin the truce they managed to make. They could be friendly, he didn't doubt it... but it was better done around other people, as a group. After all, they were friends with the others, and the others were friends with them. It would easy to pretend to be friends amongst everyone.

"Haul ass, I'm hungry!" Jay shouted back. The others could be patient for him, but he wouldn't be patient for _them_. It was his birthday.


	12. The Night Begins

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Chapter Twelve: The Night Begins**

Well known but unspoken fact: the way to calm a man to a cat-like docile state was to feed him. And after piling a large number two into his mouth, Jay was quiet the whole time Matt searching for a club they could party at. Sure, he laid his head on AJ's lap and his feet on Adam's, but it was a far cry from the dictionary wielding tyrant who insisted it was his birthday a week before his actual birthday.

They let music play instead of speaking, only Matt and Jeff talking, and only about clubs they'd heard about or seen on the way. Adam was afraid that Jay's heel would dig into his side, AJ was too busy plotting how best to murder Jason Reso, and Chris was staring in the window, perfecting his hair to match his glittery rock faggot god look.

"What about that one?" Jeff asked, pointing at one. Matt glanced at it before shaking his head.

"Too small."

"Is no place good enough for you?"

"I said we could go into the last one!"

"The Stone? With a name like the Stone, it was going to be fucking lame."

"Look," Matt said, turning to look at his baby brother for a second, "How about we just go to the next club we see?"

"What if it sucks donkey ass, what then?" Jeff snapped, "We can't leave this shit up to chance, Matt."

"Okay. We go to the next club we see that doesn't suck donkey ass."

"That's better." Jeff said, patting Matt's shoulder. He turned around, facing their friends. "Guess what? We won't be sucking donkey ass tonight!"

AJ looked at Adam, and Adam looked back. They both wore the same expression: do _you _want to take that one? Finally, Adam turned to the window, deciding to let the comment go. AJ sighed; maybe it was best they didn't explain to Jeff every single thing that was wrong with that statement.

But at least he was right.

"Maybe we should go back to El Pollo Loco," Chris offered.

"We're not going to a place that has a Latin name," Jeff said, "English only, so I can properly judge the awesomeness or lameness."

"It's not…"

"You're too loud!" Jay shouted. He looked up from AJ's lap, staring at Jeff and then Chris. "Keep quiet. Or else." He laid back down in AJ's lap, moving his head around until he was comfortable again. AJ gritted his teeth, holding back a complaint; revenge would come at a better time.

"Hey, what about this one over to the left?" Adam asked, "Looks promising to me." Every pair of eyes looked to the left, and Jeff grinned. It didn't look too dirty, or too pretentious- just like a place to have an amazing time. He read the name aloud, 'Strictly Taboo', pleased that they'd finally found a club cool enough for them to be seen in.

"That's my Addy." Adam grinned. Oh yeah. He was great.

"Whoa!" In a quick motion, Jay was sitting up, right between Adam and AJ. Neither man noticed him get up; he was suddenly filled with energy, a far cry from the man who just seconds ago screamed for quiet. "We've got a spot? Sweet. Let's do this!"

"What kind of being are you?" AJ asked, staring at him. Even years later he wasn't used to the brand of insanity Jay Reso brought to the table.

"Your friend," Jay looked over at him, grinning, and AJ couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. Even when he was insane beyond belief and AJ plotted to put him down, he couldn't deny that Jay was his friend. Jay put his arm around AJ's shoulder, pulling him close. He reached his other arm out to Adam, doing the same thing. "What do you say, men, let's get drunk off our minds and dance like idiots?"

Jeff and Chris both turned and smiled at them, and in the rear view mirror, they could see Matt had a smile of his own on his face. No doubt, it was going to be a good night. A good night for friends, fun, and, in Jay's mind, a good night for destiny.

"This is stupid," Jeff muttered.

"Just wait, we're almost there," Matt replied. The line wasn't too long, but that didn't keep Jeff from complaining the whole way down. Adam quietly supported him, while Jay did with snide remarks. Get a little fame, and suddenly, you were too good for lines. Chris secretly agreed with them, but it wasn't something they should do. Especially when they were with someone who wasn't famous, such as AJ. What if he got used to skipping lines and suddenly he thought he could do it all the time?

Just when Jeff was about to lead an attack against Matt and declare that they were cutting the line, they made it to the front. The bouncer looked them over, chuckling when his eyes fell upon Chris. "What?" he snapped.

"When's yo boy Gary Glitter joining us?" He asked. Chris glared, and the man held up his hands. "Come on now, we cool. We cool… hold the motherfucking phone." He turned to Jeff. "You Jeff Hardy!"

"Why yes, yes I am," Jeff grinned.

"Man, my brother loves you. He will not believe this. Can I get a picture?"

"Of course." The bouncer gave his phone to Matt, asking him to take a pic. As he did, the Canadians all shared a look; how in fuck's name was Jeff recognized despite not being on TV since August and not one of them got recognized?

"What, do I gotta stamp Jericho on my forehead for some damn recognition?" As they walked inside, all they could talk about was the crime that just happened.

"I'm the Instant Classic. Everyone knows that I'm a star. Every wrestling fan should know my name."

"It's disgusting," Adam added, "I mean, I've been gone for a while, but still. I'm Edge, I'm greatness, and I'm not even recognized?" At that moment, he missed the days when he was mistaken for the Puddle of Mudd singer.

"Get over it," AJ said, "Me and Matt weren't recognized either."

"You're not famous, junior. You don't count," Chris reminded him, petting his head. With a roll of his eyes, AJ walked forward, ignoring the Canadians.

"Oh come on, AJ, let's have fun!" Adam called out, "It's not our fault TNA is only watched by twenty people!" He turned to the others, shrugging, and Jay just smiled. "Let me show you how it's done. I'll have Jones smiling and laughing with us in a matter of seconds."

And sure enough, it took fifteen seconds, a few well-placed fingers, and a refusal to stop when AJ asked him to stop to bring the boy back to the group.

A fast paced techno beat sounded through the club. Very few people were sitting down, and the ones that were sitting either were waiting for a drink or taking a breather before going back onto the dance floor. At first, the six men danced near each other, in a group, but then they ended up with different people, strangers. The drunker they got, the less inhibitions and reservations of social decorum they had- and already, most of them had very little.

"Holy cow." Chris leaned against the bar, pushing his hair back. His forehead was slick with sweat, and he was reduced to deep breaths and very few words. In seconds, AJ and Jay both pushed past the crowd as well, joining up with Chris. "Where's… them other guys?" He managed.

"Adam and Jeff… are mating… on the middle of the floor," Jay said, grinning through his breaths, "Like to see you try to break that up."

Chris looked out, but he couldn't get a glimpse of his friends. He had a mental picture of people dancing in a circle around a fucking Adam and Jeff; as ridiculous as he knew it was—the people in the club would probably scream in fear at the sight of naked faggots on the floor—he couldn't get it out of his head. And if anyone would fuck in the middle of a crowded club, it would be those idiots.

"And Matt?"

AJ shrugged. "Last I saw, he was with some girl."

"A whore," Jay added, nodding, "If Adam and Jeff don't birth the Antichrist first, she's gonna pop out Matt Hardy Jr." And, before AJ could react, Jay grabbed him by the hips, pushing his ass into his pelvis and then pushing his back down. "Just like this, only clothes keeping them from sex." He pushed AJ away, who moved to a bar stool, protecting his ass on he seat. Chris got a chuckle, ordering three drinks. He figured they needed some.

After a while of pushing around, they found a table, sitting around it. Between alcohol and the good feelings that naturally came about when friends came together, they were chatting about silly things, from pranks they'd seen to making fun of idiots.

"So this motherfucker pulls out his cock, and boy, was it bigger than any of us expected. Right, AJ?" AJ just laughed, refusing to affirm or deny Jay's story. But he continued anyway, even without the confirmation. "And he points at it like it's a motherfucking deity, and I thought it was anyway. And then he pisses on the Stop sign, and none of us can stop laughing. We can't believe he took the dare in the first place. And suddenly, like right out of a fucking movie, just-" He made his best imitation of a police siren, and Chris slapped the table while he roared with laughter.

"You guys were caught by the police?"

"Nah. But I bet they saw that big ass of his hanging out of his pants while we ran away. Never ran faster in my life."

"Thought we were marathon sprinters or somethin'," AJ added, "_Still _can't look at Stop signs the same way."

"Wish I could've seen it!"

"You were too busy on your fancy pants tour that no one cared about," Jay said, "But ah. Almost miss the ol' TNA guys. Never pigged out with anyone like I did with Samoa Joe and Jones here. If we ever went anywhere together, the place was going outta business. Especially if we went with Terry."

"Fat asses," Chris joked.

"Look who's talking." AJ reached over, grabbing at Chris' stomach. Chris just laughed, totally at peace due to the drinking.

"Wanna touch me, Styles?" Chris said, "I know I'm gorgeous, but you just had to ask."

"Just earlier you were telling me we were just friends," AJ reminded him.

"We can be friendlier friends," Chris winked. They all laughed, and then Chris said, "Speaking of friendlier friends. You and Matt seem to have gotten friendlier since the whole 'boxers' debacle."

"Yeah, we'll probably stay that way for maybe a day or two. Things never seem to stay friendly around him," AJ said.

"Why? Did he come onto your property and kick your dog or something?"

AJ shrugged. "I dunno. We met, and we kinda rubbed each other wrong. Heck, I'd say the only time we stay friendly is when we're having fun with all of you."

"Or when you guys are fucking," Jay added. AJ glared at him, and Jay shrugged. "What? It's true. You guys seemed pretty friendly when we were all naked."

"Yeah, well… we were naked. You can't exactly have an argument when you're naked," AJ said.

"Oh, I don't know about that." Chris said, "You've never dated Trish Stratus, you don't know the half of it."

"Trish motherfucking Stratus," Jay said, thinking about the fellow blonde Canadian. "She was something, huh?"

Chris nodded; he'd almost forgotten that Jay had also had a relationship with Trish. "Don't get me wrong, Trishy's nice and all, but…"

"Oh _trust _me," Jay said, "I know."

AJ stood up, telling them he was going to go out and dance again. Last thing he wanted to do was get caught between them reminiscing about an ex girlfriend. He pushed through the crowd, looking for any sight of Matt, Jeff, or Adam. Soon, he found all three of them together; Adam was smack dab in the middle of a Hardy sandwich, Jeff dancing against his front and Matt against his back.

Jeff caught sight of him first, letting out a squeal born from silliness and his level of intoxication. "Alllllllllllllen!" He waved him over, inviting him to dance with them. And soon, he found himself dancing against Jeff, very little space between them, watching as Adam danced similarly against Matt.

It was already shaping up to be a night to remember, and it had barely started in any of their minds.


End file.
